Well, I have been build ing up to this moment all week and I thought it wasn't going to happen as My Mum went out just as I got Home and I only had a couple of hours to speak to her - So I wrote her a letter and Prepared some leaflets for her to read. Luckily she got home before I had to leave so I was able to speak to her - although confidence slipped so I sat next to her and just asked her to read the letter while I just sat. Half way through she was crying so I cuddled her... Love my mum, she seemed more upset about the emotion I put in the letter than the fact i was Gay... Just still worrying a little how she will be in the next few days, but after a little cry today she was back joking and her normal self.... Think i'm Relieved to be out, but still in shock and Numb at moment - so heading out for some Drinks... Mum, First of all I’m OK, Safe, Love You and Not in any Trouble. I don’t do Drugs, Drink too much, or have any other worries. The next thing is the Big Issue. You may of noticed I have a very hard time being around Father and listening to him degrade and abuse people, as well as make his Bigoted, Racist and downright Prejudice comments. This is in some part he is talking about me and doesn’t know it, and then in other parts every other reason you already know. I know what I am about to tell you, is going to hurt you a bit, and please understand that it has been something I have tried to fight and hide from myself for years, but it is something I can’t change and isn’t a choice. Mum, I am Gay – No matter how much I tried to convince myself I am not and for years I have tried – Living my Life when I don’t even accept a large part of myself is unmanageable. I have been going out in Bxxxxxxx recently, firstly just to find myself and I have recently become very close to someone – In some ways why I feel I need to tell you I am Gay, is I hate myself for Lying to you and I know you are questioning where I go and You also would very much Like to be a Grandparent, so I felt I needed to come clean. And be able to be me with You. I haven’t changed from being your Son and the person you have known and Brought Up as such a caring and compassionate Person and I hope you can still Love me as the person I am. In all of this I request you do not tell Dad, as I have no confidence in him ever really Loving or Understanding Me. To finish – I am Sorry to tell you this in a letter, but you disappearing out as I arrived Home stopped me talking to you. I will be in Bournemouth again Tonight, I feel even though we need to talk and discuss things I need a little space to calm down and I need to give you time to understand what this means. I am Gay – I didn’t choose this – who would choose to have a more difficult and prejudice Life It is not your fault at all, nothing could of changed who I am, I am Happy with who I am and I hope you can be Happy for me as Well. Sister knows, but doesn’t really fully understand Although she says she does – and S and A Couple of other friends know – So also sorry that it might seem as though you are down on the list, but you are the most important person to me and I would hate it if you felt let down or that you couldn’t Love me. Printed a couple of Parents of Gays leaflets that might give some general answers, and please if you need call me I will be home tomorrow Love Your Son............. So that's everyone I feel needs to know for now........ My Closet is now just for Clothes YAY :icon_bigg:icon_bigg
