Have you ever been planning to come out or tried to come out and have it, well, not work? See, this all happened the other day in my first period. One of my really good guy friends (who's very open about his crush on me, and also whom I'm out to) decided to jokingly write "I wish I was a girl, because then we'd totally be dating!" in my yearbook on the bus the day before. (It was on an empty page, the last one, and it's been a PAIN keeping unassuming acquaintances from looking at it when they want to sign, because all the other pages are filling up really quickly.) But anyway.... Another one of my really good guy friends, Matt (who, along with my other friend Chelsea I've been planning to come out to sometime soon because I know they probably won't care), grabbed my book the day after the message was written, and asked to read through it purely out of boredom and curiosity. Because it was him, and because I'd been trying to come out to him traditionally for days now (and failing miserably), I thought, What the hell, and agreed to let him look at it. Easy way to come out without me saying it, right? So I hand him my yearbook and he starts flipping through it, and Chelsea (who is sitting next to him) starts reading it, too. They flip around and laugh at some of my other friends' strange comments, re-read theirs, see who they know who's signed it, stuff like that. Well, they eventually get to that last page with the fabled message on it from my not-so-subtle friend. "What the hell?" Matt asks, starting to laugh. Chelsea begins to laugh with him after reading through the message. "Dude, who's this guy?" she asks, giggling. "He wishes he could be a lesbian so he could be with you? What? That doesn't even make sense!" Clearly they both think he's some weirdo who wrote this to freak people out. I knew I needed to give them another hint. "Yeah. That's Destin. I told him...that I didn't like guys." Matt asks, "Why?" "He had a crush on me. I had to tell him." ...Oops. That hadn't come out the way I'd planned to word it. "That's mean, Katherine!" Matt yells, laughing his head off. "You told him you were a lesbian so he'd leave you alone?" "Not...exactly," I say, fumbling for words. "It's not mean!" Chelsea's laughing too. "It is too! I didn't know you had it in you to lie like that!" "But it's not mean!" I say back, trying to explain. "It's not mean...if it's true." The last part comes out in a mumble and neither Matt or Chelsea hears me, and they're still laughing and have moved on to an only slightly related subject of their own. About thirty seconds later the bell rings, signaling the end of class. And I'm still not out to anyone. Technically I said it, didn't I? Technically I came out. They just didn't believe me because of my wonderfully awkward way with words. So they still don't know. *facepalm* I'm such a pansy.
its not your fault really ok you worded things a bit wrong but they were a bit dense bless them. oh well you can always try again but i would say tell him before them as if they start making fun he could get hurt all you can do is take a breath then try again
That was good a try they just didn't get it. You did say it just say it again I hope it goes better next time.
You're not a pansy! They just made some big assumptions and you didn't feel comfortable contradicting them. I've been in so many situations like that and its so hard to stand up and say...actually it's like this. Just the other day a friend of mine said that she could probably be gay if she wanted to be but its so inconvenient (i'm not out to her). It made me smile on the inside because without her knowing she slapped me in the face but also highlighted some of my own insecurities about my sexuality. She calls me a "lesbo" (jokingly) all the time and I never deny it, but I never admit it to her either. I will one day Im sure. So you see...even if you are a pansy..you're growing among others in a rather colourful flower bed. You'll do it eventually, just have faith in yourself.xxx
lol well that was a great try! it took me an hour to convince my friend I was gay. unless your an effeminate man or masculine woman it can be tough to convince them.
Dont worry I try and fail miserably all the time, at least you didnt wimp out all together, maybe it will help you next time you try, maybe you could say to them when they are not laughing, you know that thing in the yearr book well its true. But dont worry I think everyone tries and fails.
I wrote a poem for english that was about this (straight) girl I had a major crush on but we are friends so nothing could have ever some of it. Even though I had a line about "my hearts desire" when we were talking about it he didn't get that it was about a crush. He said, "I'm not too sure what you were trying to get at here, it seems like a friendship that isn't going well but I would hesitate even to say that, would you care to explain?" I froze, completely, I couldn't speak, move, or think for at least 10 seconds. It was brutal... Then he went on to say "well, your inability to explain it clearly shows in this price of writing". gah When I was going to come out to my mom, it took me 2 weeks before I finally started to spit it out, and even then I didn't do it directly at all. Don't worry about it, it happens to everyone at some point or other. You could always talk to those two again, say something like "You know that one yearbook comment you read? I wasn't being mean, I was telling the truth.".
oh you're definitely a pansy its too bad it didnt work though, cause that would have been so much easier than straight up telling them. its ok, we have faith in you! one day you will be out to all your friends!
Don't feel down over this. It happens to everyone. Behind a lot of coming out stories you read on here, there are also a lot of near-coming-out-experiences that you'll never hear of. I sometimes spent hours upon hours while in conversation with my friends trying to come out, and didn't manage. So even if they didn't hear it, what you did was already a step up from that! And look at it from another positive angle: you now have a way of bringing it up a next time. You could just say "hey guys, remember when you were looking through the yearbook..." and then come out to them!
