To recap: I've told a couple friends, and my parents - but it's more like I pulled them in the closet with me rather than "I came out of the closet". Still no progress on the coming out front, though I'm still working up the courage to tell my brothers. I do have somewhat of an update though. I found a gay swimming group and thought it would be a good chance to meet some new people & get some good exercise at the same time. I decided I would go today, and basically freaked out about it ALL DAY at work, and almost just drove straight home after work. However, I managed to calm down and drive to the building, got changed and actually went down to the pool. When I got there there were a few older looking guys (I'd say 35 and up) hanging around waiting for the group to start. I spoke to one and asked if I could swim a few laps before the group started. While swimming my laps, I realized two things: 1) I was the youngest person there. 2) I was already tired from the few laps I had swam. Thus, I chickened out. Got out of the pool and went home 10 minutes before the group actually got started. I feel simultaneously dumb/embarrassed, but at the same time, it was my first time being in a place where people in general know I'm gay....so in a way it was kind of a big step and I'm happy. When I left I saw a few younger guys getting changed...so maybe I left too soon!! Oh well, maybe I'll work up the courage to go back next week.
Awww... Definitely go back there! I love swimming (maybe I should look for a gay swimming group... hmmm). Don't worry about being tired at first, I'm sure everyone's at different levels in terms of their swimming ability. And hopefully those younger guys were part of the group Either way, it's a great first step that you even went. Do try it again and at least wait until it start this time. I'm sure you can do it!
Hi there! It's great that you went and that you made the decision to give it a try. Yep! It's a big step! There is nothing to feel dumb/embarrassed about. It's something new for you, it will take a bit of time to get really comfortable with joining in and feeling a 'natural' part of it. If you can, try to go back next week and see what happens. It might actually feel a bit easier to join in next week. Give it a go! Even if you feel tired after a little while you can always say you need to take a break. That's totally okay!
Yep I chickened out of the gay social group i tried to join last week. Trying again this week. Little stepps all the way lol Swimming training is great. I go 4 times a week but it does take time to build yourself up. You'll get there though just keep trying. Gay swimming group eh? I hate living in the country
Don't feel bad. I joined a couple of gay groups and the first few times were real awkward. I stuck with it and it got easier. I met some one. We dated for a month and we are still friends. Don't give up after your first time. Go back and have a good time.
at least you gave it a try that's a big step and you should go back if you want to i'm sure it would be a fun thing to do if there are more people your own age
Don't look at it as a failure, look at it as a success. You did actually go there, and get in the pool. You didn't chicken out and go home without stopping at the pool. One type of treatment for social anxiety / phobia is the "baby step" approach. The next time you go it should be a little less anxious. Just keep in mind: -It doesn't usually pay to show up early to social events. -Young people are rarely early -Keep in mind the crowd you saw (both at the pool and in the locker room). Presumably they weren't "super creepy", so you know it's gonna be kinda-normal people. Good luck I wish there was a gay swim group here. Oh and as odd as this sounds, you can randomly go up and talk to people. Like if you see a guy / guys your age standing by the pool, go up to them and say "Hi. I'm jblack, how long have you been coming here?"
i dont even swim and i wish there was a gay swimming group around here xD i can't even seem to find meeting groups near me, and i have looked. Basically what others said, it was good you tried it. Baby steps work your way up to it. Just dont be as early next time is my advice xD come in maybe a little late see whos there and if you feel comfortable joining go at it. It was probably also a little harder to do just cause you had all that time waiting thinking about it and letting it phyc you out.
Thanks for the advice everybody. Looking back on it today, I agree that it's better to look at it as a success. I was this close to not going at all...so just the fact that I went was a good thing. I'll definitely give it another go in a week or two. Thanks again!
when i started swimming I set a goal..I could buy a speedo once I could do 10 laps without stopping! Took me four weeks to build up to do 10. Next day I did 20. Next day 40. Stick with it from the physical conditioning side. You won't be disappointed from the social side.
What the hell has this got to do with a chicken? Oh... and just for the record the egg came first for whatever laid the FIRST chicken wasn't a chicken at all but it laid the evolved version of its self so the egg came first... yeah
