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Surreal?!?... i just did it!!!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by impossibleornot, Aug 21, 2009.

  1. impossibleornot

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    Wow, I can't believe what just happened

    K so as a little bit of background, i've pretty much known i was gay for about 7 years, and have been stressing over it and in denial for about that long, and then i found EC! I have say a huge thanks to everyone on this site as you guys/gals truly gave me the courage to come out.

    I've wanted to come out to my friends for a really long time, but for some wierd reason i couldn't do it and always felt like i needed to tell my mom first. So tonight at 8:01p.m, i did! I was really stressed all day and at dinner me and my older brother had a fight (verbal only) on how different we are. After things cooled down..about 2 hours later, my brother left and i went to see my mom and asked what expectations she had for me and him in our lives. This was a HUGE shock to her, because in my family everyone normally hides their feelings and puts a happy face on (i couldnt do it anymore). She responded with " I would like you guys to be successful, happy, a sense of achievement..and a few other things"..the happy part is what convinced me to come out today.

    So i asked her to come into the basement (where my room is) in 10 min..as i mustered up the courage to tell her. She sat down and our convo went like this:
    Me: so, you probably have noticed that ive been kinda angry and depressed over the past 5 years. And for me to be truly happy i need to tell you sometihing before university starts again, i need to tell you that I'M GAY!.
    Her: ..okay
    Me: I really hope this doesn't change anything because im going to be the same kid you saw yesterday.
    Her: how long have u known?
    Me: since i was 13years old. Anyways thats what ive been meaning to tell you.
    Her: oh okay, why would it matter to me?..
    *whaaaaaaatt did she just say that, because of things she said in the past and her views on things, i had a bag packed and i was ready to be kicked out*
    Me: really?, well thats everything... Sry im really bad at this emotional stuff.
    her: ...just like your father (their divorced now lol)

    anyways, she completely didnt care..although its still early and my family is good at hiding emotion so im hoping things dont blow up in the next week or so. Then she asked me to go for a walk with our dog. On the walk, she asked if this was the reason ive been talking about getting an apartment.. i said yes because i was expecting to be kicked out.....to which
    she said " do you not know me, i would never do that..it IS the 21st century"

    wow i would have never expected such a good reaction...im pretty damn happy right now.

    Now for a bit of the negative part...im completely freaking out that someone knows and what she really thinks of me right now... im not sure if ill be able to sleep tonight.
    Im not sure if it's because ive pretty much lived as closeted gay for so long, and always kept to myself...but when i actually said the words, IM GAY.. i didnt believe it myself.. i felt like i was lying to her..im slightly worried and confused that i might have to take it back somehow (help?)..is this normal?.. and she seemed slightly worried that i was going to tell my friends (who i know will be supportive).
    ^not sure if that part should be in the support section?^

    well, that my story and thanks for reading:slight_smile:
     
  2. seadog

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    Yeah, Baby! Great job. Trust her love. It really is OK. She really still loves you. True, more may filter out over the coming weeks, but you've got an awesome start. I guess I'd expect her to be wondering how promiscuous you might be/become. You might bring things up just to keep her chill. Way to go!
     
  3. RaRa

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    Congrats! pretty cool mom you got there! :thumbsup:
     
  4. stratavos

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    we'll find out how the story unfolds within these next few weeks, but good job on getting it out... god 7 years of torment!?!? but it's not like you found out late or anything :wink:
     
  5. jp xch

    jp xch Guest

    Congrats. It sounds like she took it really well.
     
  6. AZguy444

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    Congratulations! I bet that must have taken a lot of courage.
     
  7. Eleanor Rigby

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    Congratulations for coming out to your mother :slight_smile: That's a big step !
     
  8. Holmes

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    It's a little weird in a way when parents just accept it straight off. Even though my parents are relatively liberal, I'd noticed the odd little thing over the years that made me expect that I'd have to reassure them, or something. We talked for around half an hour, about gay friends of theirs, my own friends, and such. That was a few weeks ago, and since there's only the most casual reference, as muchn as they might ever have done before under the assumption I was straight.

    As to it feeling strange saying it, it's probably that you haven't told enough people, after that it should just be a normal feeling for you. Unless your actually bi, but I still thinm that's really just a type of being gay.
     
  9. Jeff214

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    Congratulations! I'm glad your mom was okay with it!
     
  10. EM68

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    Congrats that's a huge step!! I remember when I came out to my parents how surreal it was for a couple of days or even weeks but it quickly wore off and I can now talk to them about it with no worries or concerns. You will feel that way also. Give it some time.
     
  11. BitterEdge

    BitterEdge Guest

    That is awesome. I am proud you kicked down that closet door.
     
  12. CrystalCat

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    Congratulations. I'm very proud of you, i'm still trying to muster up the courage to tell my mother, problem is, im in a strict jamaican family =/
     
  13. Mickey

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    Great story! Your mom was awesome! And,you were very brave.
    I think if she has questions,she'll come to you. But ,all in all,I'd say it went good and
    you should be proud of both her and you. Congratulations!
     
  14. Alex19

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