So, a couple days ago, my best friend and his twin brother(also friend) came over. We were hanging out in the back yard and apparently the way I talk to my dog is particularly effeminate, because my best friends twin asks "Do you like girls?". I told him "No, I don't." I waited for his reaction so I could steer the conversation, but they didn't even acknowledge it. I'm certain they heard me, and I was expecting anything but dead silence. Now I know my best friend is pro gay rights and all(he went around tearing down prop 8 signs), but on a social level he may have been weirder out a lot by. Does that make sense? I think they are okay with gay people on a political, and even philosophical level, but still an ingrained visceral homophobia. IDK. They acted kinda weird the whole rest of the day. I know they don't hate me or anything, but I think they are shell shocked or something. . . Basically, what should I do for damage control?
You bring up a pretty interesting thing. I think a lot of people, even if they might support gay rights, probably still feel a little uncomfortable about gay people. I know I still kind of do in public. And this makes me feel bad. Even if you support the right for same sex marriage, or whatever, having it in your face (ie, two guys kissing) may take it a little further than a lot of people are comfortable with. Its confusing the hell out of me, because even though i dig guys, I still wouldn't want to flaunt it in public, because it just doesn't feel right. Not because kissing another guy doesn't feel right, but because I don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable.
i say just let them get used to it. eventually they will get comfortable with the thought that u like guys and it wont b a big deal. look on the bright side, its not like they ended up gay bashing u. or, u could just subtly ask one or both of them if the felt uncomfortable about it.
This^ ... is exactly how i feel. Otherwise, I think it's a matter of time. Just give it time, it takes time to get used to new things, so maybe this may apply to this case as well. Or be outright, y'know, ask them about the situation, about why they feel rather uncomfortable. Although maybe giving it a few days or something to clear their minds, or try and casually talk about it, maybe a bit subtle.
You might approach one or both of them and actually ask them how they are and whether they still like you. Tell them you were wondering because they quit being themselves around you after you said you didn't like girls.
I've found that the prejustices people feel about one another or a certain group tend to disappear when they get to know each other. So, I would suggest don't do anything that you haven't or wouldn't ordinarily do. Be who you are. They've liked you so far, so if things change just tell them you are the same guy you've always been, you just gay.
Well i guess u just have to let them get used to it u know? I mean their best friend just came out to them, they may still b taking it in. Also, u have to understand, u just told ur two GUY friends ur gay, so of course thats gotta b a little akward. I wudn't,however, worry about anything bcus depending on how long u guys have been close friends, nuthing shud change. Just keep cool and act no different then u had before.
What do you want them to do? If they are not gay and are OK with you being gay, I don't see why or how they should have reacted differently. A few people to whom I said I was gay responded by shrugging their shoulders and saying "yeah, so?" Some people are actually comfortable enough around gay people not to make a deal of it, it just doesn't change anything. Unless you are hoping for a different type of relationship, keep cool, stay friendly with them as before, be yourself, don't make a fuss about it.
