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Total story so far.....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Hidden Angel, Oct 3, 2009.

  1. Hidden Angel

    Hidden Angel Guest

    Ok so I've never really got around to posting my total coming out story so far, so here goes, I apologize in advance for the length and if I start ranting about some things. :slight_smile:

    It all started with my gay mate trying to commit suicide and sending me and all my mates goodbye texts one day when we were away on a school trip, with the help of the teacher we got hold of his parents and the cops and the fire brigade found him in time but he was in a comma, he came out of it and was physically pretty good but he was having a hell of a time emotionally. I ended up coming out to him to try and help him out becasue he was feeling like noone else understood what he was going through even though I wasn't really ready to come out for myself.
    I thought it would be ok becasue he knew what it was like and would keep it a secret but apparently not and before I knew it a whole bunch of my mates knew but he never told me he told anyone until he was afraid I was going to find out so he range me up and told me he had told a few people about what he referred to as 'my little secret' - this annoyed me more than anything to begin with. Me being me pretended to be alright with it on the phone but when we had hung up I was really pissed off and upset so the next day I lost it while texting him and and started going on about how he was gutless to have not told me straight away. This all meant that I had to talk to alot of my good mates and ask them whether of not they knew which was just plain awkward but they have all been really good and are fine with it even the one who I thought was quite homophobic.

    I ended up coming out to another one of my mates some where in between the above happenings because she was wondering whether or not she was bi (she decided she's not) and she needed some help figuring things out, I'm not sure I helped though since I ouldn't figure my own shit out let alone anyone elses.

    Not long after this some people in my year starting asking my mates if it was true that I was a lesbian, my mates didn't know what to say even though I told them just to say if they wanted to know that badly they could come and ask me themselves. I started to get really paranoid about people talking about me behind my back and to this day i have no real idea who does and who does know and I'm pretty sure the gossip is still going on about two years later.

    About a year ago I tried coming out to my parents becasue I was sick of living one life at school and other at home but emphasis on the word tried, although I guess I did come out to them it might as well have never happened. It took me forever to build up the courage to sit down and ask them if I could talk to them and then say those two words "I'm gay" it didn't go well. They spent two days yelling and crying and telling me how disgusting and perverted I am and asking how I could do this to them and trying to think of ways to change me. My dad just kept telling me it was a phase and that I would meet a nice guy one day and that would but that becasue he never dated anyone before me meet my mum. My mum on the other had thought something had gone wrong and that there was just no way I could be gay because noone in the family has even been 'that way' every time I walked in to a room she would turn her back and walk out, it made me feel horrible. After a couple of day it all died down and nothing has been said about it again and they still ask about guys and stuff so as I said it might as well have never happened and I'm not sure I could ever put myself through bringing it up with them again because it hurts me to know that I hurt them so much.

    Earlier this year I came out to my art teacher at school because it was only me and her in the classroom one day and I don't remember what we were talking about but she mentioned that last year she had one of her old students living with her becasue her parents had kicked her out becasue she was gay so I just felt it was the right time. Not longer after that I came out to my dean to becasue I needed to talk to some one about all the anti gay shit that goes on at our school becasue I was getting really sick of it and she was really really good about it.

    So anyway that's about it so far I'm out to most people at school or at lest the ones who matter but I still have a long way to go with my parents let alone my extended family and it's safe to say that's not going anywhere fast.
    Congrats to those who stuck through reading this all but I decided it was time I put everything down to clear my head a bit and I think it helped. :grin:
     
  2. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    Thanks for sharing. You did a really good thing for your friend. You saved his life.
     
  3. Hidden Angel

    Hidden Angel Guest

    As great as that is I still feel rather pissed that he was a complete ass through it all and is now overseas and doesn't talk to me at all no mater how many times I email him or message him on face book but he emails everyone else back.
     
  4. SilhouetteDream

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    I'm so sorry your parents reacted like that. But at least you have a coming out story! I need to get one of those :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    And I agree that is amazing what you did for your friend.
     
  5. guacj

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    It's a shame that people cannot be accepting of other peoples differences, but congrats on having the courage to tell them.