at 14 and 15 i used to go out of a fri and come home of a sunday - no call and used to freak my father out. i was tall for my age, and could get into gay pubs easily. i moved out at 15 - actually kicked out by my father. i moved to my older sisters. i was pleased as i could keep my lifestyle out of my parents face at that time. i could dress as 'gay' as i wanted, in drag if i desired, and she let me go and do what i wanted. looking back, i really would have liked a bit more parental control though. life could have been easier and less heartbreak. there was very little discipline. my life spiralled out of control with drugs and i ended up 'working' at Kings Cross on the streets of Sydney for a year. This was a very degrading life, and seems like an eternity ago. So.... dont piss your parents off. if they essentially are good people, then keep in good communication with them. most of you guys writing here have already said or are working up the guts and the courage to talk to your parents about what is happening and that is so very very cool. i didnt and i think it contributed to me leading an out of control secret life. sort of still do in many respects. now i am a father and my daughter is getting close to puberty. and do i ever encourage talking. i do not let her go to bed with an upset. we talk, i encourage it. i do not want for her what i went through. she is welcome to experience, but boy will i use a liberal use of cotton wool to keep her away from the hurts of the world as long as possible. keep communicating with your parents as much as you can about your life, and as much as they will allow you to. try hard to not hurt them, and do keep yourself safe. if they can't take it easily, hold off for a bit. This is you caring about them. thanks for listening. i applaud you for what you are going through.
That is GREAT advice! After having gone through all that, I'm glad you are still here and still on EC to give such valuable information. Your daughter is very lucky to have you and vice versa!
Well, Tom, all I know is you have to get comfortable with yourself first then you can be comfoetable with your mom. You can keep things to yourself, but there are times whne you need her help or her advices. Well, from my experience, when you are down, or sad, come to her, she'll listen to your emotions. If she's busy, then you have to understand that and pick another time. Talk about things you want to let out, but not about thinsg too private. Well, cuz of that, some parenst will forbid you from your own life. But remember taht youhave to listen to her words first, then you yourself figure out what to do, to follow, or to against. cuz soem parenst domt understand bout you And if you wanna keep things to yourself, then you gotta find someone to talk bout it in cases if you need help and advices As I see, it's hard for us kids to realize how it feels to be a parent, you dont have to care bout nothing, alll you do is to study, eat, drink, sleep , and have fun. But your parenst are the one who truly love you, and you have to listen to them when you are under their roof, and that is the rule. Till you can do whatever you want if you are out of your family, and are able to live on your own. You see, it's hard for some of us to live under our's parent's rule, but their roof is the best place of the world, they always protect you from everything, care about you, want you to become good people. Of cource, you always get mad when they scream at your face, or forbid you from thinsg you want, because all tehy want is you are having a safe life, but some of us dont understand and take it for granted. Till the day we are out of their life, we just look back and wish that we can be their little son, daughter again. Soem of us are happy cuz we had such a graet time with our family, some arent cuz they have let go valuable moments that you cnat never have a chnace to go back So you need to stick to your family, they are your roof and protection, and you are their legs. I have no idea, but we have to live in such a way that can make our parents be proud of us
