Disappointed by my Church Family

First, I think they use the word "love" but they've changed the definition so much that it's basically meaningless as a way to express how they feel about you. They say love so that it appears on the outside that the don't overtly hate your lifestyle, but they probably do. I've experienced it my self. When they say "Hate the sin, not the sinner" they don't actually mean it. It's a cop out for taking responsibility for their hateful actions and words. If I were you, which I'm not, I would go to a more accepting church. I hear that methodists are very nice. In fact, my mom's pastor, a woman(which is important in a society that openly says that women shouldn't preach), did plays in a gay community theatre and was entirely accepting of me when I came out. It's not like that everywhere, but it makes things easier. It's not so much a religious issue as it is one of people trying to enact their hateful beliefs on you.

Second, That takes balls to do what you did, I mean I never would have come out to a church member if I thought they weren't going to be accepting. The fact that you have honesty as such a high standard for yourself is very admirable.

 

still loved and welcome? thats some christian, condecending bullshit. i hate it when they say they still "love" you. its a crock of SHIT. plus, how could u still even feel welcome after they took away your position as treasurer? if u did it perfectly b4, why should that change just because ur gay? just cause they know now doesnt mean that ur gonna do any less good of a job. if i were u, id tell them off. but, in the most polite, conceded, stuck up way. and with their own dosage of condecention. Tell them that ur gonna find a local MCC to worship at. that'll send the message

 

Well done Jim! i'm very happy, yet very sad for you at the same time. I have similar feeling to Alex above, how can they say they still love you, yet refuse your services as treasurer. Makes my head spin. But! you are right, and I think you are so very lucky that your wife and children are supporting you so lovingly by deciding not to be members of that church anymore. That is pretty serious dedication and understanding on their behalf (which of course you hope to have from loved ones). I really hope your leaving manages to cause a bit of an uproar amongst the more open minded of the congregation. (*hug*)

 

Thats bullshit.

You should start a petition to get your spot back, then when you got it tell em to stuff it. But of course, reassure them that you still love them. *rolls eyes*

 

maybe in the future, you coming out will have a positive effect, when they realize that you arnt a different person than you were before they knew. Maybe some will realize that all that changed was how they saw you, and we can hope it will humanize the issue.

The greatest ask we have is not gay marriage, it is to humanize being gay to as many people as we can.It is demonized so much, and there are some people who will never learn to understand. But the more people we can get to see this as a human issue, the easier persueing equality will become.

Hope more learn to accept and embrace you.

 

I am sorry that you don't feel welcome in your church anymore, especially after that you have been deeply involve in it. I wish things would have taken another turn. In the other hand, even if the church leadership doesn't want you to keep your activities for the church, coming out to them and coming out the all the congregation might change their view about homosexuality. Maybe not right now, maybe not anytime soon, but you'll never know.
I hope you'll find another church where you'll be welcome for who you are.
Many (*hug*)(*hug*)

 

The more I think about it, the more being gay is like being left handed. Sure, it's different...but does it really matter? Not in the slightest. Would it matter if you were a left handed treasurer? Of course not.

So why is being a gay treasurer any different?

 

You found out that your church community didn't accept you for you, and gaining that knowledge was a good thing. Hopefully by your dismissal and exit more good will be caused by forcing the ignorant to question their false assumptions.

Fortunately in Toronto, as in other big cities, there are a number of affirming churches. MCC and affirming ministeries of the United Church (aka the conglomerate church) are both present in your area. Surely there are also churches where you would be welcome that may also not be immediately evident as well.

 

That sucks but atleast the truth is out. If they don't accept you, it's their problem not yours. It's also very nice to see your Exwife back you up. I bet the church will be sad with you gone. =)

 

I am proud of you for coming out to your church and sorry for their reaction. What you did took a lot of guts knowing the risks of what could have happened. You are really a true role model for the members of EC. I hope you find a church that is accepting of you and your family. (*hug*)(*hug*)

 

I am one of those Christians who refuse to lose my faith and if the Church wants me out I'm not going out without a fight! I am proud of you for being a proud Christian and a proud Gay and still paving the way for homosexuals to stay in the Church. I think HUMANITY is the one who is screwing up RELIGION (in general, not just Christianity)... GOD IS LOVE! WAKE UP!!!! But enough of me ranting...The Lord loves you and that's all that matters. I commend you and together we shall overcome this homophobia in religion. Kudos.

And from what I gathered, the let you go from the treasury position? They'll see the difference once your gone...just watch. So literally, it's still their loss, not yours. Now you have more time to spend with family and finding yourself God Bless.

 

Very Milk-esque thing to do, congratulations.

You don't need them to maintain your personal faith. I equate what has happened to you with being kicked out of your boys' club at school for being a 'pansy', it's the exact same maturity level being demonstrated by that group of people. You're better than them. And doing what you did might just make a difference.

 

That is the bravest thing I have heard yet!! I can't imagine coming out to someone that "I think" may not be accepting, but to come out to your church? That's an amazing thing, and you should feel good about it. You have friends and family that support you, that's a great thing! You are like a super hero...we'll call you "Cap'n Treasurer" :thewave:

 

Jim, I am sorry to hear about their reaction. However, I am so proud of the decision you made. You are truly an inspiration for us all!

 

((((((((((Jim)))))))))) I'm so sorry you've been through all this but you absolutely did the right thing. People in that congregation need to examine their own feelings and opinions on this and like you said, if it moves one person then it was for a good cause! I think you are so brave for telling your minister and I love your ex-wife! She's the best! I hope you can all find a congregation that loves and accepts you for who you are.

Now...if you're looking to volunteer your services. My PFLAG chapter is in desperate need of a treasurer. LOL Seriously, maybe you could put your talents to work for a group like PFLAG! I wish I lived by you!

 

Wow. That's rough. Just wondering, what is the denomination of your church? My church family is a big part of my life (well, before I went away to school it was anyway) and I would be devastated if I no longer had that in my life.