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Coming Out Story / Just Joined!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by UserName, Nov 19, 2009.

  1. UserName

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    What's going on everyone? I have been checking out these forums for the past few days and received a lot of encouragement from them as well as good advice. I am 20 years old and have known that I was gay since at least middle school, I never really denied it from my self but always hid it from my friends and family until yesterday. I've never really had any gay friends or known many gay people in general and always had a large group of straight friends. Seeing as I am in college I tended to hangout with the "party people" which in a way was how I coped with my sexuality. About a year and a half ago I started to receive bad panic attacks and anxiety and it got worse and worse to the point where I am having to medically withdraw from school this semester (but I have received treatment so I'll be good!). Anyhow, needless to say my parents were angry about that and then the other night I went to get some food late at night (after a nights worth of bar hopping, all of us being inebriated) and we decided to park my car in front of a curb since all the spots were taken. Anyhow with that and school, and other drunken escapades my parents got severely mad and my father told me to "never speak to him again" so, that being my only real fear of coming out (being disowned from my family) I decided to tell him that I was gay, etc.

    Anyhow, surprisingly my dad took it alot more supportive than I could of imagined. And I decided to tell my brother and sister and my mom. All were very supportive except my mom who is a little bit religious due to the whole AA program. I haven't told my roommate and all of my friends yet, but all the friends I have told were all literally surprised (including my parents too). They all said that I have no gay mannerisms at all and were completely shocked, one even asked if maybe I was bi - haha. That kind of took me by surprise I thought in some ways it'd be easy for people to know, but I guess I was wrong. But the only thing even close to negativity I've received thus far was a lady friend of mine who said "she doesn't think its moral, but she knew my before and she knows that I am still the same and would unconditionally still be my friend". I'm sure there will be plenty of more interesting reactions, but hey I live in the Bible Belt (South Carolina) but for the most part I was surprised how well it went and how surprised everyone was. Funny to see that my biggest fear actually put me on speaking terms and "earned more respect then ever" to my dad as opposed to my contrary beliefs - and the fact it all started from drunken escapades, anxiety problems, and getting my car towed. Maybe everything does happen for a reason...

    But anyhow I thought I'd show some gratitude towards all the people on this website and maybe provide some further encouragement to others who struggle coming out as well. By the way most of my coming outs were via text messages, confrontation would be a lot harder for me seeing as I don't think I'd be able to phrase everything how I wanted too. But I still have one more major person to tell and that's my roommate I'm sure that'll be a Congregational situation - but as far as I'm concerned he's ignorant on the fact that it's a "choice" well, at least for me, but he has said he would be friends with a gay person. And seeing how no one saw me being gay, he might take it as a surprise - he isn't the brightest person out there....but all will go well I'm sure! Stay strong everyone and thanks again!
     
  2. i need help

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    welcome to ec...
    the site helped me also so much to come out to my mom (i also did it over text)

    i also thought everyone "knew" but after i told mom i was like big new not a big surprise? and she told me that she expected it from my sister before she expected it from me...that made me laugh...
     
  3. Jim1454

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    Hi! Welcome to EC - and congratulations on coming out to your family. That's awesome! I'm glad you were encouraged to do so by what your read here in EC. That's what it's here for.
     
  4. Kevin42

    Kevin42 Guest

    Congrats on coming out to your family and stuff! Maybe when you come out to your roommate, you two will have a good opportunity to talk about homosexuality and you can use it as a time to help him become more educated about how it's not a choice and stuff.

    Welcome to EC by the way!
     
  5. Chip

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    Hi, and welcome to EC! What a great story! You sort of went from 0 to 100 in a very short time! I think when all the dust settles, you'll find that it is a lot easier being out, because you can just be yourself without hiding anything. You may even find that as you can be yourself more, you'll have less inclination toward panic attacks and anxiety.

    Please keep us informed. Stories like yours are very inspiring to others who are just beginning to think about coming out, and to those who are somewhere in the process.
     
  6. HackmanWIU

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    Welcome :smilewave and Congrats! (!)(!)(!)(!)
     
  7. Mirko

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    Congratulations on coming out to your family. Glad that reading the stories here on EC helped you to become comfortable in taking that step. Hopefully your mum will come around to it as well and be as supportive as your dad is. Good luck on coming out to your room mate. Let us know how.

    And welcome to EC! :slight_smile:
     
  8. UserName

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    Thank you for the welcomes and support. Well, I told my roommate in like a 4 page long text yesterday, but he didn't respond. And I heard him come back from out of town this weekend this morning so today will be an interesting day - at least I know that our only friends since we just moved here are girls, I do have everyone's support too and they think hes a douchebag anyhow. So today will play out interesting to say the least, hope all goes well. Oh yea and I told a few more people all who were in utter shock and thought I was joking for a good like 10 minutes. Sigh, I guess I should be proud in some way?
     
  9. UserName

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    By the way I let me roommate know and he kinda just ignored it all together till our mutual friend girl talked to him and he was like "should i talk to him?" "it doesn't matter if hes gay to me he's still my boy and i have his back" then he came down and we awkwardly both started talking about it and he seemed intriged and happy that i respected him enough to tell him before others. And then I proceeded to tell about 4 or 5 other of my friends (one I'm sure is closeted) he was very accepting of it and so was everyone else, but still every single person i've told has been in utter shock.. why does this still surprise me?!?
     
  10. RaeofLite

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    That's awesome. People like us (in the middle mannerisms) basically "normals" what society deams us, break stereotypes. :slight_smile: Gay people can seem "normal" and are normal too. :slight_smile:

    Congrats. Looks like you went through a rough ride, but you're here now. :grin:
     
  11. UserName

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    Yep now I am :slight_smile: feels so liberating. At first it was easy to tell people after my family, then it felt harder when I had to come down to people I knew I'd have to face everyday, but once I told all them...I've told a lot more people. Almost all my friends know now, and nothing but positive support except for one friend not responding back. But hey whats one friend (especially when hes probably closeted and thats why hes not responding back, thats my assumption at least) when you have everyone else behind you. It feels great, I just can't wait for my wall to break down and experience life like it was designed to be experienced.