After coming out to most people I know, I am finally coming out to my Dad. It's getting awkward because the rest of my family knows(including mom-who never hides anything from dad). I don't think I can just come up with the words so i am going to read him a letter... what do you think??? Dad, I have to tell you something that is uncomfortable for both of us to talk about. I am so afraid of losing your respect, and your love, that I have avoided having this conversation with you for quite sometime. I'm gay, and I have spent years trying not to be gay. I also have spent years being miserable. I wouldn't choose this lifestyle in a million years, and if it's something I could change I would have done it already. To be honest though, since I have admitted this to myself, I have been happy, and I finally feel like I am being true to myself. I spent so long tossing things around in my head, and tried so hard putting on a show for myself and those around me. It became exhausting... I just can't do that for the rest of my life. I know that this isn't a lifestyle that you necessarily agree with, but what I hope is that I can still have your love and respect. I don't want you to look at me with disappointment, or wonder what could have been... I am ok with this now. As hard as it is, I'm dealing with it. I am no different than before other than a label changing... You have raised me to be a strong, dedicated, motivated and compassionate person. All of this doesn't change, I'm still the same person. I spend so much of my life trying to make you proud, and I am so afraid this will come to an end with just this one statement. At this point, I don't need for you to agree, or even understand.. I just need for you to know! I love you Dad, with every part of my soul, and hope that this doesn't change your love for me. G
It actually sounds pretty good. If your whole family knows but him, everything should be fine no matter what his reaction. You have alot of people behind you, ready to help when they are needed. No matter what, don't forget about the ones that beleive in you, the ones that love you.
*applauds* That brought a tear to my eye. I did the same thing in a letter, saying how hard it was for me to come to terms with it too. Good luck.
It's an excellent letter. I don't see how he could not have compassion and empathy after hearing that. And of course, it's possible your mom has told him but told him not to tell you, so it might be anticlimactic. One of my friends who is 22 started coming out about a year ago, and got in a relationship (which he's still in) very soon thereafter. He came out to his dad almost immediately, but to his mom just a month or so ago; he was really worried because she is a fundy Christian, and his brother is a total screwup, so she was sort of counting on him to be the "normal" one to have kids and be "normal." But when he finally did come out, her response was "I knew it! Why'd you wait so long to tell me!" and everything was cool... hopefully your situation will be just as uneventful
I think it is a great letter and it lays out what you went through and that you are happy as a result of accepting yourself, well. I think it is good that you indicate to him that you are okay with him taking the time to come to terms with it. I hope your coming out goes well. Let us know how it goes.
That's a very moving letter. I hope everything is going to went well with your father. Let us know. (*hug*)
AHHHH I DID IT!! I feel so liberated right now! His exact words... "That doesn't bother me... That won't change my love for you... " I started weeping reading him the letter, I don't even know why. I told him how hard it was and he apologized! I am now out to my whole family, I dont have to hide it from anyone! I feel like a whole new person...
Congratulations! This is often the hardest part. I wish I had as much courage as you. Great job! (*hug*)
