So, as some of you know, I am planning on coming out to my sister, who is my last remaining family member who doesn't know about the source of my fabulousness (!) My sister has made comments over the years that demonstrate that she is not exactly what one would call accepting. My mom is totally cool with having a gay son...she's even asked me about my dating life and said that she can't wait till I start dating someone regularly ... and she shares my estimation of my sister's reaction. So, how have others dealt with similiar situations?
Did your sister threaten to take a loaded shotgun, drive to your school, and "kill every fag dead"? 'Cause thats what my brother threatened. (Among many other things that i dont feel like sharing) My sister-in-law told him i was gay, when i asked her not to. Guess what? He was the one who was scared and embarrassed. Family is odd like that. No matter how much he hated gay people, i was his family. He felt so horrible over the things he said to me without knowing i was gay. Im sure hes still not thrilled he has a gay brother, even one year later, but that does not change the fact we are family. I would tell her. I was thinking my brother would seriously do physical HARM to me when i came out to him, and he was the one running scared not me. I know its a scary thing to do, trust me i know, but your sister is family. Everyone else knows as you said, so just tell her.
Ha, my entire family isn't exactly what you would call accepting. I mean, not to complain too much, they're not exactly rejecting either. It's more of a "I'll pretend you didn't just say that. You don't say anything, and we don't say anything." Because even if she loves you, I know it still kind of sucks to feel like you're being loved "despite."
A friend came out at 20 to his parents and sister. His parents were ok with it, his sister totally freaked out, said he was going to go to Hell, and all sorts of other charming stuff. (She was several years younger than he, and the religious one of the family.) A short time later, she came to terms and was totally fine with it. My guess is that's exactly what will happen in your situation. If you're prepared for the worst, then anything else will be an improvement
People tend to say those things in fear, fear of what they don't understand, and fear for you because they know how the world and religious zealots feel about us.
Thanks...I would like to believe that the relationship we've developed over time will also cause her to think twice before saying anything too over the top...but, as the saying goes, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I'm also trying to remind myself that it took me a long time to become comfortable with myself as a gay man, so it would be both unreasonable and unfair to have an expectation of instant transition for her, so there you go. In more pleasant news, a friend informed me they've set me up on a blind date tomorrow...could be good or bad I'll report back tomorrow!
well, the bad news is that it is VERY hard to change people's beliefs. If your sister is set that homosexuality is some religious abomination then you have your work cut out for you. The good news is this could be a chance to make her see that being gay is not wrong, but just a part of who you are. Good luck out there.
