Hi, Untillast December I had been married for 16 years with 3 children. I started a new job and met someone there who has made me question my life. As soon as I knew I was having sexual thoughts for this woman (who can I add is 15 years younger than me and had not come out or had any sexual relationships with either men or women) I told my husband I was leaving him. I moved a few miles away and we managed to keep our relationship secret for some time. My husband guessed and hasbeen really supportive and as we lived and worked in a small community slowly people began to work it out and rumours began. My boss questionned me and I denied it, he then began tomake life unbearable and I quit my job. At this point we began to live together and told all of our friends and family including my 3 kids. Everyone though shocked has been really supportive. At the moment 8 months from meeting we are living together and I am not working. My husband has declared he still loves me and wants me back. My partner loves me too and wants tomake ago of things. To cut a long story short I am in turmoil as I don't know where my feelings lie. There was obviously some massive thing that made me fall for her and give up my security and family 8 months ago so why am I doubting it now? She came out to everone but I just told people I waswith her likeshe could have been a man. I don'r understand myself and if I am a lesbian or bisexual. I have never questionned this all of my marriedlife and she is so content and I am totally spoiling things. Please help!:icon_sad:
well do you like guys: sexually, emotionally, and physically? how about girls? you need all three to be a yes for one and/or the other to be considered lesbian or bisexual. I like some guys looks, i don't doubt that they couldn't satisfy me sexually. but i could never have a relationship with one. I can't even kiss them without feeling wrong. with girls i just connect.
I was always with guys until now. I had very brief moment with a girlfriend when I was 14 and never talked about it again and now here I am all these years on living with a 24 year old woman who I find physicaly attractive, adore having sex with her. I hink a big problem is that she wants me to meet al her friends and I can't decide if my biggest fear is beng seen as her partner or the fact that they are all so much younger than me. I have been seen for so many years as a wife and mother that it is hard. I do find men physically attractive but don't necessarily want tohave sex with them and hadn't for a very long time before splitting with my husband. I think my husband and I are still very good friends with a massive emotional attachment. I have been reading all of the posts about coming out and although we have been accepted I don't know if I have accepted it myself. I fell in love, left family and now have found myslef questionning the whole thing and can't find the answers I need. Sorry but I am so confused.
To me you sound like a lesbian. you could possibly be bisexual but to me it seems that you are more attracted to women. i first realized i was lesbian in 3rd grade. but i got made fun of and began to hate myself for it. then last summer i admitted that all of these years i've been liking girls and hating myself whenever i got a feeling for them. i evantually came out to myselve and everyone. I'm so much happier now that i am acknowlegding these feelings. you first just need to say allowed that you like girls. when i first did this i cried. its hard to admit to yourself that your not as straight as you though you were but once you do it and accept yourself for how you were born than you will be much happier. i still get confused sometimes but i just tell myself how comfortable i am with girls and how awkward and wron i feel with guys (i think of my memory of my first kiss with my first boyfriend. that was my moment that it fully hit me that i loved him as a great friend. when i got my first girlfriend and then my second the whole relationship just flowed so smoothly.) so it may take some thinking and self acknowlegdement but just go with what feels true to your heart.
