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An interesting weekend!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by simpleguy, Jan 17, 2010.

  1. simpleguy

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    What an interesting weekend! I went out for drinks with my friend on Friday, with the intention of coming out to him. He's also gay, so I thought that it would be a good thing to bring up. For some reason though, I just couldn't say it. I don't really know why? It could have been the crowded bar, or that we went and met up with more friends afterwards, but I totally chickened out.

    So long story short, we went to another bar and met up with more people. My roommate was there, and after awhile, we took a cab home. Perhaps it was the alcohol and the remorse for not coming out to my friend earlier, but I came out to my roommate when we got home! I was completely scared and nervous, but I just said it and her reaction couldn't have been more positive! She said how awesome it was that I was gay, and even said that she would be on the lookout for guys for me. haha

    This whole situation has been a total relief to me. I was nervous because I am just coming out of a marriage and my divorce will be final in a couple of months. I really didn't know how one of my friends, who totally identified me as straight, would react. But her reaction totally gives me the confidence to tackle this head on. It's nice to know that your friends are supportive and that nothing really has changed, except that I can start being true to myself.

    Anyways, just thought I would share.

    (!)
     
  2. Mirko

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    Congratulations on coming out to your roommate. Support and acceptance from friends can really be a confidence booster. Glad that it went so well! :slight_smile:

    Hopefully you will find the courage to come out to your friend as well.
     
  3. LostandFound

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    Congratulations! It's weird but I'm having trouble coming out to my gay friends as well.
     
  4. Sylver

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    Wow, this is a big step! It sounds like you're at the beginning of a major transformation of your life. I admire you for taking the intiative to get things right - I think I have a lot to learn from you. Keep us posted throughout this process!
     
  5. simpleguy

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    Thanks everyone for the support! :slight_smile:
     
  6. Eleanor Rigby

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    Congratulations for coming out to your roommate :slight_smile: I'm glad she is supportive.
    Don't pressure yourself too much for coming out to your friend : when you'll be ready, you'll know it.
    Take care
     
  7. Filip

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    Congratulations on coming out, regardless if the person you came out to wasn't the one you were originally planning to tell! Just think of the positive reaction when mustering the courage for the next coming out! :slight_smile:

    Don't beat yourself up for not coming out to your gay friend, though. I had much the same. In my case, my fear was that he would be angry. He trusted me when he came out ten or so years ago, and then I didn't return that trust and remained in the closet for years afterwards.
    Of course, when I came out to him, I found out that my fears were unfounded. He obviously understood completely and was very happy I finally figured it out and came to terms with it. So I'm sure it will be the same with your friend.
     
  8. Jim1454

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    Great story - thanks for sharing it! It gets easier too - so keep going!
     
  9. simpleguy

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    A bit of an update...

    So this Friday I came out to my gay friend mentioned in my previous post. It was kind of awkward telling him, and for some reason it was more difficult to say than the previous two times. Perhaps it was because I only had one drink instead of many, or perhaps it was kind of awkward because he was a guest at my wedding! lol But I finally got the courage to go through with it, and I'm glad that I did! It's so weird, the feeling that you get right before you tell someone. I think I need to work on my segues because this just seemed completely out of place in our conversation but like I couldn't keep it in any longer. It was driving me crazy, especially since I chickened out last time. But everything's good, he even invited me to go out to a gay bar with him the next night with his friends. The only problem was, I got a bit too intoxicated with him on Friday and was in too rough shape to go out. I kind of regret not going, but I think when I'm ready to take that step, I want to be at my best.

    Anyways, I definitely think this changed our friendship for the better, and now I'm glad that I have a gay friend that lives close by. So I think I'm currently on the path to coming out to one person per week. I think I should keep up with this plan and hopefully it gets easier from here on out!
     
  10. Jim1454

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    It does really get easier. I'm glad you've now got a gay friend in real life to relate to.
     
  11. Filip

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    I like updates! :wink:

    And it seems like it all went down in the best way it could! Congratulations on telling him. that's a big step. And it does get easier with time. Having more and more friends who know tends to make it easier and easier.

    Now just make sure you're in shape when the next opportunity to go to the bar comes up :wink:
     
  12. runner246

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    Good job! that's a big step. word to the wise: first time you go to a gay bar, do NOT use the bathroom. the only ones i've been in smell like vomit and are full of.. well, you get the picture. also, if they have karaoke, i'd do it. its a great way to meet guys, and it doesn't matter if you can sing. sing with someone else if you want. if a guy's interested, he'll usually come talk or something. but don't be afraid to tell the guy your not interested.

    the last bar i went to, i met this guy who looked EXACTLY like borat. i mean, exactly. he was fun to play with, like, you'd say something and he'd say something totally off the wall. for example:
    ME: "Hey, borat!"
    BORAT: "See that spot on the carpet? I'm gonna puke all over that"
    or maybe
    ME: "You meet anyone here?"
    BORAT: "My husband's over there." (He points at an electronic blackjack table)

    it was great. have fun! and congrats on coming out to your friend!
     
  13. Connor22

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    yet another sufferer of post-awesomness disease all I can say is that if you hope to recover from this disease then you need to be as awesome all the time lol well done :slight_smile: