ok last night, while at a basketball game that my sister had to be at for pep band, I met her friend, who we will call K. after the game we started texting each other, and chatting on Facebook. today, we were texting each other, and then I started texting her bi sister. after a bit, her sister asked if I liked her. I replied, as a friend sure. she later asked if that was because of the age difference (K is a few years younger than me). I told her that it was a small factor in it, but there was a bigger reason. she then asked what it might be.I replied that I was not 100% comfortable saying. then the convo goes as follows: (I will call her A b/c I don't know her name) A:Oh i understand... it can't be any worse than having to tell my mother i liked girls as much if not more than guys... Me: Same thing but opposite in my case A: Excuse me? I don't get what your saying Me: Basically same thing you said, but guys instead of girls A: So are you gay or bi? Both or only one Me: Gay. You would be the first I have told A: I feel special *End of convo* pretty good for a first. I didn't feel to much different after telling her, but that is b/c I have not met her. *off to change out status*
thanks everyone, but now I have an issue. K has a crush on me, and has asked me to reconsider being gay for her. I don't want to hurt her feelings badly, but I have no clue what to do:help::help::help: I told her I would sleep on it. "but why can't you be bi? i mean its ok if you don't want to be but it would be cool " :help::help::help::help::help::help::help::help::help::help::help::help::help::help::help:
Just tell her that it's not a choice... You're not interested in women and there's nothing you can do to change it. And if that doesnt work, say "It took me a long time to accept this about myself, and someone trying to change that about me, just wont work... sorry"
It's a great story of how it happened. Saying it incidentally feels better than making a big deal of it. As to K, try to get her to see it from her point of view. That you won't be a completely enthusiastic boyfriend, even though you think she's nice. And particularly as you've just started coming out, you're more and more interested in meeting other boys, that would be on your mind, so it really wouldn't be any fun for her. Basically, it's the ultimate, "It's not you, it's me".
Yes. You're saying you dont think you should try and change it, but you should say you CANT change it. Because you really can not change even if you try. You'll never be in love with her the same way she loves you. Maybe emotionally you could be, but physically (if i were in the situation, at least) it could never happen. Just tell her, you don't want to end up hurting her. You really have no interest in women, and it's just not going to end well if you two dated.
well I sent her the message and when she got home & read it, she sent this: K: its ok Me: wow I had 7 pages on Facebook open @ once and they all made a thing pop up @once lol K: ttyl my mom said ill txt you and remember i always love you if you change your mind bye and we can still be friends Me: ok ttyl K: bye Me: cya
Hi there! It seems that it went as good as it could have. It will take a while for her to get over the crush and the fact that you have told her that nothing will come of it. Try to be there for her and should she ask again, maybe just tell her again that being gay is not something that you change your mind about.
Oooo, as one who has known about my sexuality for along time but had a few long-term hetero relationships, I've realized that no matter how great the relationship is, even if the sex is good too, you'll always be yearning. Recently I've had to break up with a man who is wonderful, who loves me very much, because it wasn't right. I knew I had to be with women, because that's just who I am.
congrats on telling her! and don't be someone you're not. being in a relationship you're not committed to or just not feeling right in isn't going to work. Go with what your heart says, and maybe try to be friends.
