Tonight, I got a message on facebook from my aunt. It was a loving heart felt letter, filled with updates on what was going on in her and my cousins' lives. Then at the end, it seems like she came to the point of her message in saying this. It's been about a month now that I've had my facebook interested in changed now, and my aunt is the only person to have said anything to me about it. I'm really glad that she's found out though. I sent her an email back telling her it was all true and that if she had any questions to feel free to ask me. I'm glad she's confronted me on this. If anybody else knows, she's the one that I had written about in my letter who held so many 'fantasies' with my mother for me finding the perfect woman. It seems like everything is going to be alright, and I'm happy for that. It's gotten me thinking though. The undergraduate president of my fraternity reminded my chapter about being smart about posting things to facebook. He warned about how potential employers go in and look at photos and everything they can find on you. He brought up that one of the alumni was doing this to try and find out more information on us so that he can try and judge between us better for a scholarship that a lot of us have applied to. All I had thought about at the time was that I was absolutely fine with the photos I had up on facebook. I didn't think anyone could find anything bad on me from there. Well, the alumnus that was being talked about was here today. The whole chapter has been really busy and what not, so nobody has really had the chance to get down and talk with anyone else. I noticed though, that that alumnus, whenever I was around him - he kept giving me like comforting pats on the back, or understanding smiles. I had no idea what was up, and just took it at the time that he was a bit tipsy. Remembering all that's been talked about today, though - I think he may have found my interested in status on facebook, and that this is his way of telling me it's alright. I'm going to try and bring it up with him tomorrow. Probably go and talk with him, telling him that our president had told us that he had looked at our facebook profiles, and that I am just wondering if he had found anything on there at all that I should be worried about with employers seeing it. Hopefully, that will work in bringing it out into the open. I'd really like to talk to him about it and all. He's a wonderful alumnus, and I'd love to talk to him about some of the other alumni, and how they've made me feel uncomfortable at times. A few of the other alumni talk really negatively towards homosexuals, and I've never had the guts to stand up to them and tell them that the words they're saying aren't brotherly at all. This weekend though, I want to change that. If anything gets said at all, I'm going to be there in their face about it - reminding them of who their brothers are and how they should be accepting of them. I hope everything goes well.
Well you're being very thoughtful about this and in my experience good things come out of that. There's no question that posting your status on Facebook like that will open you up to good things happening (like your Aunt - congrats!!) as well as some unexpected or challenging things happening (although not necessarily bad things). Just reading between the lines it seems to me like you may be saying "Bring it on!!" by being out on FB, either intentionally or subconsciously. That might suggest that you want to expose the sore spots and the conflicts, maybe so that you can then deal with them. I sounds like you might be using FB as a way to initiate conversaions and even confrontations that you'd like to address. I say as long as you're prepared for it, then this is a great way to go about it. Your FB status has provided you with an opportunity to address some issues within your fraternity that have been bothering you, and you sound like you're prepared to confront them. It did the same with your Aunt and look how that turned out. I've often wondered myself it's an effective way to come out to people, and in your case it seems to be. You now have the chance to make your frat environment a better place and change the ways of some of your frat brothers, so take advantage of it! Good luck!
What you do anywhere leaves records. Those records can always be researched so you do need to be cautious about how you want to be perceived. But it looks to me like you really want to be known as who you are. So welcome to the old struggle. Lots of people craft who they want to appear to be. There's always room in the closet. Others want to appear as they actually are (and to quote the 1960s, let it all hang out). There is no right answer on this and you betray no one by crafting an image. But please don't rent space in that closet. It does not lead to a healthy and happy life, and in today's world it is not as necessary. I would say be prudent about what you say and to whom, but be honest with yourself and you will be just fine. To quote the 60s once again "The times they are ahh changin" and that is still true.
