My sister is awesome!

I know I've been posting some of my challenges recently and I really appreciate all your help. But I thought it would be nice for me to post something really good that happened to me!

Yesterday my sister and I had a 3 hour talk about my homosexuality. It was wide open, everything on the table, and it felt so good.

I came out to my sister last year, so this technically wasn't a coming out. She was the second person I ever told. At the time she took it reasonably well; it came as a bit of a shock to her, she asked a few questions and then she told me she still accepted me although she didn't really understand it. I was super nervous at the time, sweaty palms and everything, butterflies in my stomach and in my brain, and I can barely remember what I told her! After that we never really talked about it much, although it didn't affect our relationship any.

So yesterday I decided that I needed her to be my anchor, my "support network" going forward as I tackle bigger outings. To do this both of us really needed to open up and put it all out there. We just went for it and talked about everything, no holds barred. I described to her in great detail what it felt like to be gay, what growing up with this secret had been like, what it meant and what it didn't mean. I told her that I'm not quite sure where my "happy place" is going to be, but that I'm determined to find it and that I'm never going back in the closet ever again.

She asked if I was certain that I was gay, and I said "Yes, absolutely" - that felt good to say to someone :icon_bigg. She asked me lots of questions like did this mean I was going to be promiscuous, what I knew about AIDS, if I was into drag, whether I'd start wearing pink shirts icon_wink), if I was in love with anyone, etc. She also asked about gay stereotypes and why I didn't fit any of them. I directed her to the PFLAG website, specifically the section for brothers and sisters - I've read the resources and they are right on the mark.

It was incredible because she really wanted to get to know the "new me". It was kind of like a new introduction, and it's the first time I've ever tried to define myself as a gay man to someone else. It also felt so very, very good to have an emotionally open discussion with someone I trust implicitly and who has absolutely no intention of judging me. We also had a serious discussion about me coming out to my parents, but that's not for this post.

I can say that I felt relieved when I first came out to her, but after yesterday's talk I actually feel happy on the inside for the first time in a long time. I feel like I have a supporter, someone who I can go to for advice and even just a shoulder if I ever need one. I may have "come out" last year, but I actually discovered the real meaning of that yesterday.

So this thread is mostly for my sister (although she doesn't even know about EC) - thank you sooooo much for being there for me and for being my rock. I love you I love you!!