Totally stunned right now. All in the space of 2 hours i.ve gone from complete mortification after being told one of my mates knows and then to stunned happiness when being told that he's if not totally cool with it, pretty damn close and that it doesn't change the fact i'm one of his best mates! Let me back track a bit. In winter '08 i met a girl at a bar, she and I flirted for a few months and had an unfortunate bedroom experience while i was still coming out to my self. Eventually we became good friends and i came out to her by phone (my first). Fast forward a few months and she's now going out with a good friend of mine, which made things difficult. I'd send her messages calling her babe, honey etc. and understandably he'd be wondering why i was sending such affectionate tings to his bird. Lol. So any way, fast forward to last night and i'm texting her about a gay bar i've been told about (thanks to sandy aka riddlerno1) and wishing she lived close enough to come with me as it'll be my first time on the scene. She replies offering to go to some bars closer to her in Southhampton and hold my hand. Now bear in mind we're being a little circumspect and not saying the word gay just in case but it ends up sounding like we're planning an intimate assignation... Sure enough my mate checked her phone earlier today and thinks we're having an affair, an argument starts and she blurts out whats really going on ie. that I'm queer. later on I get a text thats just completely odd coming from one of my mates, telling me he's there for me if i need a chat and that we're good mates and such. Straight away i text her asking if there's something i should know and she told me all about it. What really stunned me though is that she said although he didn't believe her at first, he then told her that it didn't matter to him and that i'd been there for him in the past so he'd be there for me now. She told me he even said he wont mention it to the rest of the lads unless i want him too. I can't believe it! Feel so guilty about how i underestimated him as a friend and a person in general. He just tried ringing but i was too scared too pick up, i sent him a message saying i wasn't able to talk because of where i'm staying, which is partially true but is mainly due to my being a coward. Sorry for the essay and i hope i.ve made sense, just so stunned, happy and relieved!!
Hey I feel ya, congrats to you! Doesn't it feel great? You have a great friend who will be there for you. I was sorta in a same situation, I seriously thought one of my close friends was going to kick my ass, but he said he was cool with it and gave me a hug. Seriously misunderstood him.
Thanks you all! I thought the same thing about my mate, KV88. i wasn't looking forward to squaring up to him, either, as he's a lot bigger than me. Lol.
Congratulations for being out to your friend now, and for his great reaction!!! As a side note, he was checking his girlfriend's phone?
Congratulations on being out to your friend! Friends can surprise us in really great and positive ways. Glad that your friend is supportive and wants to be there for you.
Lol he didn't see me as a gay, even after all this time I was soft and liked some girlie things. He told me he didn't see me that way. And oh he has a bi brother too. Congrats again, now you just need to tell more important people in your life.
that is a great story...you are not a coward thou...dont ever think of youself as that..you just had an epiphany and too much information stimuli overload in your mind made you not want to take the phone call...not cowardness...give him a call sometime else..:icon_bigg:icon_wink
Thanks for sharing! I'm glad it worked out great for you and him. He sounds like an amazing friend :icon_bigg
Again, thank you all! Biisme, yeah they both check each others phones all the time and are well paranoid of each other cheating... Loads of issues in that relationship, but they've both had partners who cheated on them before and are totally insecure. :-(
Hey there, Yes your friend does sound amazing! And you are definitly not a coward. i am pretty sure we have all felt that way!
that's really awesome, see its weird you build up all this inner-tension thinking about how thing may go horribly wrong and you may lose a great friend. I'm in a similar situation I guess I have an amazing best friend and I would do anything for him and vice versa, but I am petrified of even thinking about telling him the truth. I am kinda attracted to him which doesn't make things easy lol I know its something out of my hands, and I can't stop myself from loving him and I wouldn't want to do anything to change our relationship we've been best friends for 6 years now. But aaaannny ways I'm really happy things worked out for you I can only imagine the huge amount of relief you're feeling knowing that he is still there for you and this won't change your friendship, trust me I know how important he probably is to you. It's hard to find true friends and it's even harder thinking about the possibility of losing them just for let them see the real you. Again Congrats Man that's a truly awesome and somewhat inspiring thing.
I will point out that this thread is from March 2010, and the original poster is long gone just so no one comments on the OP's experience. However.. on to you, Keith! Welcome to EC! I think it is often hardest to come out to our closest friends because while we realize they will likely support us, we also fear what will happen if they don't, so it can be almost paralyzing. I think over time you'll become more comfortable with the idea, and perhaps, as you read more about others' experiences here, you'll see there are lots of ways you can sort of look for signs as to how he'd response, or put out subtle hints to see how he responds before laying all your cards on the table. I hope you stick around and continue to contribute to the community, Keith!