Hey everyone, So I started coming out to my friends and family back in September . And honestly, from the day I started I've had a plan for telling people, and have followed through with this plan real well. I told an entire group of friends without any problems whatsoever. I told my parents, and although they're still in a transition period, there was no negative outlash at me. While coming out to these people wasn't easy, I did it b/c I had this nagging feeling inside that I had to do it. However now I find myself at a sort of roadblock- my roommate. I've told mutual friends, and they all ensure me that he'll be cool with it. But eventhough I think I'm ready for it, I just can't do it. I've had several golden opportunities to do it, but have failed to get it done each time. I had a whole afternoon alone with him this past Friday, and just couldn't say the words. I was so close I feel. But the words just wouldn't come. So my question is what should I do? In an ideal world I've like to do it f2f as it's the most personal setting, however I've considered doing it via email (which is silly since we live together), but that may be the only way I can get it out. Or should I wait until I'm 'ready'. Its kind of eating at me though, so I'd rather do it as soon as possible... but I want to do the right thing I guess. What do you guys think I should do.
I'm actually weird about this: I advise against waiting till you're "ready" unless there's something very definite that's making you hold back (known homophobia, finances, etc). You can put stuff off on "not ready" grounds forever. And there's no requirement to come out face-to-face. People understand that coming out's difficult. And it's hard to find a non-awkward way to bring up orientation. So, go ahead! E-mail him. The ideal's not working for you, so stop trying to make it work.
sounds to me like you are ready already. you just trip over introducing the topic. maybe you can accidentally leave a clue out where he finds it and that will bring up the topic. Lets see, a dildo left in the bathtub would work, but you may not be there. maybe leave visible a book you are reading (Joe Kort's book worked for me!). a magazine perhaps.
Just think of it this way: If you don't tell him, you can't bring a guy home. Or, if you do bring a guy home, he'll figure it out pretty quick. If you aren't ready though, don't do it. At some point you'll get it done.
Keep reminding yourself that you're going to let him know sooner or later, and better to get it out of the way.
