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Guess what, I did it!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by dukeguy06, Mar 22, 2010.

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  1. dukeguy06

    dukeguy06
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    Hey guys!

    Well, my mom and I went to out today to go pay some bills, well while she went inside to go pay a bill I texted her this " I have something I need to talk to you about, but im scared. Will you always love me?"
    When she got back in the car she saw her text message, and asked me what is wrong.. I didn't say anything. Then she said jokingly "You're not gay are you", I still didn't say anything thing. We sat there for about a bit without talking. The she said, "Well, did you change your mind about being a youth pastor". I started to speak but my voice kinda can in and out. Then I said, "Yes, I did change my mind about that, but it is because of what you first said".

    Well, she said " you are joking right?" I said "No, I'm not, I like guys, and I have always have liked them. I've known since I was 6 year's old that I have." She said, "Well, I still love you, you are still my son no matter what, you know how I feel about being gay so I don't need to tell you that again."

    To make a long story short, we went to go get something to eat and talked about it. She, told me she isn't going to accept it, but stills loves me. She said it will change, God will change it. And she was sorry I had to deal with this all by myself for 16 years." Well, I said " Can I be honest with you? It's not going away, I've tried for 16 years to make it go away, Let me ask you this question, Do you think you can change the way you feel about men and start liking women?" She said " Well, no". I said " Well, that goes for the same as me, I can't change the way I feel about guys."

    Anyways, she is in the stage where she is trying to tell me it can go away, hehe. Next is telling my dad.

    I know this isn't how I wanted to do it, but it felt like it was the right time and place to tell her.

    :icon_bigg:eusa_danc

    Josh
     
    #1 dukeguy06, Mar 22, 2010
  2. Connor22

    Connor22
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    wow now that is how it is done my friend. that is how it is done. well done :slight_smile: good luck with your dad and that's awesome that you have a really accepting mum
     
    #2 Connor22, Mar 22, 2010
  3. Flare

    Flare
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    Well done! :slight_smile: Very impressed you told her face to face and challenged her when she said God would change you. I'm sure acceptance will come in time when she thinks it over properly.
     
    #3 Flare, Mar 22, 2010
  4. Sylver

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    Congratulations! You are a strong person and an inspiration to others!!
     
    #4 Sylver, Mar 22, 2010
  5. warrior

    warrior
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    WOW! Congrats! :grin:
     
    #5 warrior, Mar 22, 2010
  6. malachite

    malachite
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    :eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap
     
    #6 malachite, Mar 22, 2010
  7. Eleanor Rigby

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    Congratulations (*hug*) I know it took you a lot of courage to come out to your mom.
    And I am also happy things didn't went too bad. Yes, she is not accepting yet of your orientation, but she still loves you. There is a good chance that with time and education, she'll become more accepting of sho you are.
    Here is a link to several PFLAG booklets you can download and that may be helpful for your mother. http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=594
    I especially suggest you to have a look on the booklet "Our daughters and sons" and "Faith in our families".
    Take care, and let us know how things are going
     
    #7 Eleanor Rigby, Mar 22, 2010
  8. padre411

    padre411
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    Hey - congratulations. I hope you are experiencing a sense of relief. Good luck with your dad.

    peace,(*hug*)
     
    #8 padre411, Mar 22, 2010
  9. x2x2x2x2y2

    x2x2x2x2y2
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    Congrats!! I think with time, she will accept it. And it really takes a brave person to challenge her with her own sexuality.
     
    #9 x2x2x2x2y2, Mar 22, 2010
  10. RaeofLite

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    (*hug*) Congrats. You're over the worst part. The news is finally out. And you mentioned that you 'tried' to change yourself. Which isn't really possible. Maybe give her some handouts or resources on Coming Out from the web, or PFLAG.org? She can read about things other gay people and their parents have gone through as well so she won't feel as alone.

    There's nothing wrong with you. Don't forget it. :slight_smile:
     
    #10 RaeofLite, Mar 22, 2010
  11. EWU2012

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    Congratulations!! I'm still trying to find the right time to come out to my parents. I plan on doing it soon but it's just so hard. Seeing that you finally did it gives me a little more courage. Good luck with coming out to your father.
     
    #11 EWU2012, Mar 22, 2010
  12. egnvectr

    egnvectr Guest

    :icon_bigg(!):eusa_danc
     
    #12 egnvectr, Mar 22, 2010
  13. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Congratulations Josh! (*hug*) You have done what you needed to do. Give her time, and keep talking to her about it. Hopefully she will come around to it soon.
     
    #13 Mirko, Mar 22, 2010
  14. Spectre

    Spectre
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    Well then, you work fast, don't you? :wink:

    The arguments you gave your mother are admirable. You should be proud of yourself. (*hug*)
     
    #14 Spectre, Mar 22, 2010
  15. malachite

    malachite
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    so let me ask you this: your mom said, "God will change it." but, will she come around when sees God does change anything?
     
    #15 malachite, Mar 23, 2010
  16. dukeguy06

    dukeguy06
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    Right now, I believe my mother needs to believe that God can change it. She is feeling the sense of lost, and if she believes that it will help her come to terms slowly.
     
    #16 dukeguy06, Mar 23, 2010
  17. padre411

    padre411
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    I want to do a needlepoint sampler of 1 Corinthians 15:11 for your mother to hang in the kitchen: "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and God's grace towards me has not been in vain."

    Your mother is right. God can change you. But God won't. God is completely happy with who you are and how you've been made. As long as you never forget that, all will be well, wherever your mother may be on her journey.

    peace,
     
    #17 padre411, Mar 23, 2010
  18. dukeguy06

    dukeguy06
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    Hey guys can't go into detail right now, but I wanted to update you guys. I told my dad! He seemed ok with it. I hope it stays that way
     
    #18 dukeguy06, Mar 23, 2010
  19. warrior

    warrior
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    WOW! Cool! congrats!

    Now you are making me jealous! Kidding.
     
    #19 warrior, Mar 23, 2010
  20. Beachboi92

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    congrats and what inspires me the most is how your mother took your side of the argument and didn't try and turn on it like my dad did (i mean he actually argued that he had chosen to like women) xD. From the sounds of things it looks like all will be well (*hug*)
     
    #20 Beachboi92, Mar 23, 2010
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