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recent and not planned

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by elitechris, Mar 30, 2010.

  1. elitechris

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    i'm writing this just a few minutes after it happened...

    i always knew my mom knew. a few minutes ago my dad told me if i knew about ricky martin coming out and i said something like 'yeah and the sky is blue etc.' and my mom was like 'since everyone is coming out why not you?'
    i was shocked. she asked that if i liked girls and all i said was 'if you know why do you ask?' and she was like 'i've never seen you with a girl, look at your sister she's 15 (i'm a year older) and she already is dating'
    my dad really didn't say anything. my mom only asked him something like 'do you still love him?' and i just answered 'i really don't care if he does because after the whole [cheating] incident' (dad cheated on mom and mom still angry)

    i knew my mom knew... she always would say she would love me no matter who i would be with... but what happened a few minutes ago kinda freaked me out because she seemed cold even though i said i knew she would love me but she was like 'i don't'
    maybe i picked the wrong time because just as i am typing they are fighting (about their relationship not over the gay thing)

    so confused but at least happy i'm a little bit out :slight_smile:

    (!)(!)(!)
     
  2. Chip

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    well it sounds like she took an opportunity to let you know it was OK. I very seriously doubt she intended to be cold with you, just perhaps preoccupied/still upset with your dad.

    Take it for what it is... a supportive mom trying to say it's OK, and you don't need to avoid the subject any more :slight_smile: It might take the both of them a little while to be completely comfortable; seeing all the signs is one thing, having confirmation is another, and your saying "if you know, why are you asking" was a pretty fine non-denial-denial, so you pretty much answered her question. :slight_smile:

    In any case, I see it as a good thing :slight_smile:
     
  3. RaeofLite

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    Well she doesn't seem hateful from what you've posted. She seems fairly supportive and at least she reminded you that she loves you. :slight_smile:

    Plus, you have to remember that parents will always fight. Not fighting when in a relationship is unhealthy, it means someone's opinions aren't being said. It's not your fault. You have taken the step towards happiness. You are not responsible for making your parents happy, even though it may feel like it some days... :dry:

    (*hug*)
     
  4. elitechris

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    thanks for the advice so far :slight_smile:
    i've just been getting strong impulses of just being myself and stop covering the fact that i am gay.
    i also came out to a friend and it just felt so good to let someone know and be able to talk to about crushes and such :]
     
    #4 elitechris, Mar 30, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2010
  5. Connor22

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    that's awesome! congrats at having such brilliant parents oh and btw, I love you'r avatar... sorry that was a bit random
     
  6. Sylver

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    Wait... sorry, am I understanding that you asked her if she would still love you and she said "I don't"? Just to clarify, what was she saying "I don't" about? If that's what she meant then I'd say that's a little more than cold...
     
  7. Mirko

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    I think it is great that your mum mentioned in all but name that it is okay to come out to her. As Chip mentioned, it sounds like that your mum is supportive and already knows.

    Maybe in the next couple of days, try to find a good time where you can sit down with her and come out to her. That said, you already have pretty much spilled the beans. :slight_smile:

    You already know a couple of important pieces of information: she is okay with it and is supportive. Try to build on what she has already mentioned to you, when you come out. Use that as your entry point in making it official (as it were). :slight_smile:

    I would agree that perhaps it was a bad timing but once the dust settles I'm sure she won't imply that she doesn't always love you and wouldn't love you anymore when you do come out to her.
     
  8. QuilsQ

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    She knows and is supportive of you. You can just come out to her because she already knows.
     
  9. elitechris

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    i think she was joking... again, it was kinda bad timing but i feel she does accept it
    hopefully she'll bring it up again, if no i'll just have a talk with her and my dad to make it more formal
     
  10. Sylver

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    Well that's a relief! Then I agree with the others, your mom and perhaps even your dad already know and are dropping you some pretty obvious hints all over the place. If you're ready, take advantage of one of these moments to make it official - it will be a big relief and a good starting point for a new you. Just don't do it when they're in fighting mode - you want it to be the focus of the moment so that it's not overshadowed by other matters. This is important for you and it warrants their full attention!

    Good luck and be sure to tell us when it finally happens! :thumbsup: