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My introduction to melancholy

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by The BC, Apr 23, 2010.

  1. The BC

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    Came out while drunk via text – awesome. I’m that guy. :frowning2:

    Long story short, mixed up two names on my phone – the only gay guy I know and my roommate. Roomy sucks at checking texts, told him in person post sending text before he got it. He was 100% ok with it but we were both drunk. If you read my other thread; he was one who would not care but it fucking sucks because that was not how I wanted to come out.

    Could not have asked for a better response. I hope he remembers it tomorrow because if he doesn’t, there will be a text from me outing myself to him. My text was something along the lines of ‘at the gay bar with friends, not out yet, kinda anxious.’

    In any case – if you are thinking of coming out, don’t get wasted and do it sober. I’m really down on myself for coming out like that. I had higher hopes for the whole situation.

    “so, you’re telling me you are gay.’

    ‘Yes.’

    ‘Cool. All the more reason to move to (insert city here), buy your ticket already.’

    Still drunk. Still disappointed with myself. Somebody knows and I feel complete melancholy. Will post up details tomorrow, there is significant back story to the event. I’m glad it went well though. I feel there will be similar reactions from other friends/roommates but I just didn’t want to do it intoxicated. Live and learn I guess. At least he respects my privacy on the issue and knows how significant that can be for a person.

    I’m out (literally) for now

    - The BC

    :***:
     
  2. Zumbro

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    Don't be sad. It may not have been your ideal way to come out, but at least you're out to someone finally. I certainly had a bit of 'social lubricant' to help me come out the first few times, since it's not easy to do. When you're drunk though, all your worries seem to be gone. Until you send the message at least. :eek:
     
  3. Halpert

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    As disappointing as it may be for you, you still did something great. And don't worry, you're not the only one that's 'that guy'. But it really doesn't matter. After awhile, that melancholy will disintegrate into the realization that you're out. And that feeling, well that just can't be described. :grin:
     
  4. The BC

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    Thanks for the replies. I was a bit upset last night with the whole thing, drinking and rampant emotions (sigh). I appreciate your words. I do feel much better today but would say I float between apathy and melancholy. I'll be fine, and then feel foolish again. It is really unlike me to make a fool out of myself when drinking and I feel that I did.

    We went out because our friends came up to visit. They wanted to go dancing - thus we had to go to the only place in town where people dance. The gay bar. The roomy had just broken up with his gf 3 days prior to this (over a five year relationship). It wasn't the time to drop that bomb on him. I was / am just upset of my timing, I feel like it was really insensitive given the situation albeit accidental. It wasn't like I was not planning on coming out to him, just not that night, and not like that. What's done is done though.

    I get the impression that he really does not care at all. I didn't feel awkward last night at all, but I do feel a bit odd today. I hope I come off as my normal self - I do want to have a conversation with him while I am sober about it. I think in his mind it's, 'I know, I don't care, (insert more pertinent topic).' lol. Other topics include finishing our plans for this summer as a house, as well as getting stuff ready for the vacation we are going on ect. 'We' being our house.

    Anyway, I need some really greasy food to combat this hangover.

    - The BC
     
    #4 The BC, Apr 23, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2010
  5. Seags

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    The same thing happened to me 2 years ago, and I also thought that my friend really didn't care about it. I think most people don't release how upsetting it can be to say such personal things while sober. But on the other hand, maybe your friend just think that it's the best thing to do? You're still the same anyway, there's no reason for him to look different, and maybe he thinks that you will feel better if he acts that way.

    I agree that you should talk with him about it. gl
     
  6. Gambit

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    Each time I drink I feel like coming out to my friends and let them know how depressed I've beeen the last months (I also feel like coming out on my facebook status). Luckily, I havent done that. I dont want to come out to my friends or anyone drunk. That's why I stopped drinking haha
     
  7. The BC

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    Just that one slip of the finger, BAM. Outed myself, outside of the gay bar. LoL.

    Not ideal, but in hindsight, kinda funny.

    We have opposite schedules today and I might not see him until tonight. He did shoot me a text about plans for the house vacation - specifically to me. He's a good guy, I think things are / will be fine. I think I'm going to be taking a break from drinking though. That shit can be vicious.
     
  8. RaeofLite

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    Aw. You're more than "that" guy. :slight_smile:

    I had a similar situation. I came out to my old college friends. I knew they'd be accepting, but for some reason I psyched myself up, and got really drunk. And just as I was about to mention my girlfriend, I sort've got all nervous and ran to the bathroom (I had been drinking too much..)

    But just know, there's no real right or wrong way to come out. Preferably it should be on your time when you're ready... but it doesn't always happen that way.