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Now Out to my Bishop

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by padre411, Apr 23, 2010.

  1. padre411

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    Yes, it must sound strange that I've come out to my bishop. Here's the thread for the background if you're curios: Background

    My corporate training always emphasized getting to the point when you have something difficult to say. Once I closed the office door and sat down, the Bishop asked “what’s going on.”

    My reply was “I’ve not broken my ordination vows. I’ve not broken my marriage vows But I am gay.”

    Here are a few highlights from what the Bishop had to say:

    “This is not the conversation I was expecting to have this afternoon.”

    “Why do you assume you would have to leave the parish after coming out?”

    “Do you think you’ll be able to maintain the façade as long as you need to?”

    “My concern is for you and Tammy. The parish will be fine.”

    “I’ll let you decide when it’s time to tell the parish.”

    “Your handling this well will be an asset in your favor in future job searches.”​

    My wife was there for most of the meeting and I think the Bishop spoke with here more than me which is probably appropriate. I am relieved and surprised to have his unequivocal support, both in my coming out and in my need to stay in place until my wife graduates in July, 2011

    The only other person I keep changing my mind about telling at this point is my youngest brother. But he is a Methodist pastor in Texas and fairly conservative. I can’t predict his reaction and am doubtful he would be able to keep the secret from his wife and the rest of the family. I’m not quite ready to deal with the family.

    Thanks to all of you your support. :icon_bigg This couldn't have gone any better. I am so thankful for my bishop and diocese. In most places this would have been professional suicide.

    Peace,
     
  2. Im so glad that it went well!!!!
     
  3. ANightDude

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    You know, coming out to family is one thing, because often times you know what their reactions will be. Religious groups and/or people, in my opinion, is even more fearful, because you will never be able to tell their reactions or what they will do next.

    Congrads with coming out to him, and good luck. Your church is the kind we need more of. :slight_smile:
     
  4. Kevin42

    Kevin42 Guest

    So glad to hear that it went well. I kept getting on today to check for updates, so this comes as quite a relief. I am glad that you have so many supportive people in your life :slight_smile:.
     
  5. marvin

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    I'm sure I can't comprehend how difficult that must be, congratulations.
    I know others have said this, but you certainly don't lack integrity.

    (By the way I like the Simone Weil quote)
     
  6. EM68

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    Congrats Mike. I'm so glad it went well.
     
  7. RaeofLite

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    Wow, Mike... that's stellar. :slight_smile: I'm glad to hear it went well. Show your pride! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride: :icon_bigg
     
  8. Alex19

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    kudos!!!!
     
  9. biisme

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    That's great! I am so glad that the meeting went well, and your Bishop sounds very understanding. (*hug*)
     
  10. The BC

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    Mike,

    Congratulations on your successful coming out. I'm really happy that everything went well. :slight_smile:

    - The BC
     
  11. nickmc

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    Congratulations Mike!

    I'm so glad your Bishop is supportive and is willing to help you in any way he can :slight_smile:
    The coming-out road can be bumpy (especially as a pastor) but it's reactions like these that will make it that little bit easier.

    Well done

    Nick
     
  12. KneeDragger

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    Good job Mike! I'm glad to hear that it's going well for you. You've inspired me!
     
  13. British Lad

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    I am glade he excepted it, good on you.
     
  14. Sylver

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    Yay Mike!! :slight_smile: Wow, I have been closely following your story from the start, and you have made such incredible progress! I can't believe the speed with which this has gone for you... And it sounds like it went so well with the bishop! That must be such a relief to not only have that over with, but to have his support for you!

    You know, when I came to EC at the start of this year, I would have never guessed that I would have seen so much accommodation on the part of religion and religious people towards homosexuality and to people who come out. Some of the more religious people in my life have surprised me, my parents shocked me with their reaction, and now the reaction of your religious establishment has surprised me. It once again reinforces my suspicion that before we're out to the world, we tend to exaggerate the reactions we expect from others. We'll latch on to the one most remote possibility that may be taken as evidence of things going sideways and turn it into a certainty of a bad outcome in our minds, ignoring everything else we know about these people. Our judgment becomes clouded.

    I'm amazed at how consistently wrong we seem to be when we anticpate negative responses from others. I guess the moral of the story is that people like Fred Phelps represent a very, very tiny and extreme minority of the religious world, and extrapolating this across all of religion is unfair. It is also misleading, causing us a whole lot of anxiety that's simply not warranted. There's a lesson for all of us in this...
     
  15. Connor22

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    wife, friends, bishop the awesomeness keeps piling up my friend, you better watch out or else one day you might turn into one of those, you know 'out' people lol :slight_smile: in all seriousness though spanking good job
     
  16. Jim1454

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    That's wonderful news Mike. And it's wonderful that the discussion happened with your wife present. It is very much a situation that affects both of you - almost equally. I'm glad your Bishop was so understanding and supportive. Fabulous!
     
  17. Gerry

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    Congrats on coming out Mike! It definitely sounds like a success! :thumbsup:
     
  18. RAJ Aladdin

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    This gives me more faith in the Church, thank you. Congrats :slight_smile: I wish you nothing but the best :grin:
     
  19. Eleanor Rigby

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    That's great :slight_smile: Congratulations Mike (*hug*)
     
  20. s5m1

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    Congratulations Mike! I am very happy it went so well.