Coming Out to My Dad

[Brandon]

Hello guys, wow it's really been a while since I visited here on the boards of this forum. Well a lot has changed, and here are two stories. Which actually did happen. And I want all the younger guys out there to read this because it will give you an example of how crazy some people can be, and what they are capable of. Sure some people will tell you that this person was doing the right thing, but it wasn't his decision to make.

So all I say is that even though you might think you have all the time in the world to come out to parents, if you have any enemies and they know you're gay, then they can cut your coming out time a little short for you.

Coming Out To My Dad

I had been up all night trying my best to get back to sleep, but that night (August 30th) was one night that seemed like everything was going down the drain. I stayed up all through the morning on the computer while my Dad left to the Doctors. I was browsing through ***, making posts, making my 5,000th post on here. Looked through some other websites, chatted with a few people. Then came time around noon I suppose, Moossey was barking, he jumped off the bed going to the front. I got up from off my chair heading to the front as well. Dad came in, I saw the mailman drop off some mail. I walked to the door unlocking it, seeing the mailman come back delivering two big envelopes.

I got the mail looked through one of the big envelopes. Queen Mary, I guess they wanted us to renew our membership there. I looked at the other envelope, the one that looked like to where you open it and pull out papers. I walked back to my room with my food when I thought to myself. "I wonder what that envelope was" I walked back to the kitchen, my Dad was already opening pulling out a small stack of papers from the envelope. I walked closer to him, he was reading it near the window, I was reading it as well. I saw my name plastered all over it, he turned the page the highlighted words Suicide and gay were in bright yellow. Oh my god, I couldn't believe this was happening, he turned the page, there were my journal logs, ones that I don't even remember writing.

My Dad turned the pages, my heart stopped, I felt my chest tighten with each word I read on those pages. The words in big letters MY DATE WITH JEFF were printed on top of the page, I couldn't take it anymore, I grabbed the papers from my Dad's hands.

"Brandon what the hell is that?"

I put the paper on the table placing my hand on the it leaning to one side, I didn't even know what I was feeling, but I prayed that he didn't ask that question. I looked at him as he stood there confused.

"Is what they say in that journal true? That you're gonna commit suicide? That you're gay?"

I nodded my head. I felt my eyes start to water from the reaction my Dad might have.

"Brandon are you gay?"

I stood up straight trying to have my eyes fixed onto his but the glare of the sun was making it hard for me, he stood there silent as I nodded my head saying yes.

"How long have you had these feelings?"

I told him I've been gay for about 14 years. He asked me if I wrote those journal entries, I told him yes. He also said questions about suicide. I told him I was depressed for so many years, holding it in. I started to cry right there in front of him. Telling him that it's been years that I've held this in, and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I said to him the reason why I was afraid of telling him earlier about me being gay is because I was afraid he would kick me out of the house. When I said that he walked over to me hugged me as I stood there crying.

"I love you just the way you are, you're my son."

He had his arms around me, telling me that I should of came sooner to him about the depression. He asked me more questions about if these feelings I'm having are really what I feel. I told him that I've been knowing all these years and it only took me this year to realize that I was gay since I was six years old. He said that he was worried about the suicide thing, I told him that I wasn't going to kill myself. I said that I've been depressed that I tried my best not to think of thoughts like that, I started to cry even more, he came up and hugged me again.

He told me that he would never kick me out of the house because of this, that he loves me too much to do such a thing like that. He asked me if I wanted to tell my Brothers about this, I said no. He asked me if I wanted to tell my Mom. I said no, not yet. He told me that he won't say anything it will be just between me and him. I nodded my head wiping the tears from my eyes. He told me it's okay. I stood there in the kitchen for about another two minutes discussing this with him. I told him that was the reason why I was always in a bad mood, why I always seemed down.

He asked me what *** (**********) was I told him only what he needed to know, that it was a gay community helping other young gays on coming out. I didn't mention anything to him about the porn that is on this website. I went back into my room, I decided I needed something to eat so I ate, my Dad came back into my room sitting down on my bed.

"So how do you know you're this way Brandon, you haven't had any experience yet?"

I told him that it's just the way I feel. I then got into the subject of the supposively gay Uncle or something. He said that one of his Uncle's died of aids because he was messing around with boys. Then he said that his cousins a lot of his cousins were gay. I can't really remember much of this part but I know he did say the thing that I remembered him saying.

"They don't act the way you do though?"

I guess he meant his cousins act more, how is the word I put it, queer. As for me it's the way I am, it's just me, I don't pretend to act gay or straight. It's the way I am. He told me that I'll have to tell my Mom either way, I told him that I don't think I'm ready to tell her, and watch her in pain. My Dad's reaction was mostly concern because the suicide thing. But he wasn't at all angry about me being gay, his reaction amazed me because I didn't know he would react that way. He didn't even show any bit of anger.

He got up and left so he could get ready for work, I was still on the computer, I had told a few people that were online about it, I just had to get it off my chest. There was only one *** member who was online at the time, he knows who he is. I told him and he was really happy for me that things went well.

I felt that I had stepped onto the huge hill that hasn't been stepped on in my life, I still needed to climb this hill, but the only way to get to the top is by telling my mother. It will be painful for me to watch my Mother in tears from this. My Dad turned around as he was leaving my room.

"You'll be surprised of her reaction Brandon if you do tell her, you don't know"

I nodded my head going back talking on Yahoo Messenger. My Mom came home, I wasn't at all gonna tell her, I just walked around the house as if nothing happened. Though I did rip those papers to shreds threw them in the trash. My Dad told me that the person who sent those letters and logs is pretty devious to do such a thing by what they did. I already knew who did, I felt my heart break into pieces, I didn't know what his intentions were, but I was very upset about the whole thing.

I did feel at times when getting ready for school that a small amount of weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I didn't say a thing to my Mom, I just kept it to myself, but I guess I had a reason to smile today. I guess the hard part is gone, as I said to myself. One down, one more to go.

[nisomer]

What a truly great story. Well not the part about whoever sent those letters...but about your father's reaction. It made me evoke tears when your father said "I love you just the way you are, you're my son." (gonna go read the coming out to mom part now )

[lloyd444]

wow thats the best story i've read in ages. i love you (not in a creepy/pervy/sexual way). x

[confusedoc]

i literally cried after reading ur story!

[crimsonarcher]

wow............

[Half-Light]

I wish my dad would be so accepting...

[aprilblue426]

i'd hafta agree w/ half-light on that one.

[NintendoEmoLover]

awsome i can't come out really... my mum and dad hate gays >.< I cryed reading your story Hope you have a happy life bhyeee x

[hoping]

ur dad sounds great. wish mine was like that

[Blithe]

yeah...

I got punched in the face by my stepdad when he found gay porn on my computer.

My real dad was cool with it though.

Originally Posted by Blithe

yeah...

I got punched in the face by my stepdad when he found gay porn on my computer.

My real dad was cool with it though.

Omg thats so terrible! That man would not see the light of day ever again if he did that to me. :icon_evil. But on the plus its good your real dad was cool with it

[mattyboo]

that is psycho!
i would have freaked if that would have happened.
well before i came out, but i just wow.
well WAIT A MINUTE!
haha. yeah my mom found out i was gay through a note.
that someone sent ''hate notes'' to me.
oh well=]
it had to come out some way right?
=]

[SaiRev3]

Wow. This inspired me a bit to tell my dad now. But, maybe not yet... ;x

amazing you have a great dad

[Maddy]

This thread seems to have a long history of bumps after months or years, but as it was posted nearly five years ago, I think it's time to close it.