Yes...I was drunk. Or as I like to call it, the moment where wisdom meets simplicity. I've always had gay friends. They are not in my "inner circle" per se, but always had good gay friends. Due to the hell I've been going through in my own life I felt the need to come out to someone...so I could have some local support group. I don't know why, but it seems easier to make that first coming out step with other gay folks. I saw a gay buddy of mine at a party last week. We decided to meet up afterwards for drinks. After a few more drinks later that night, I finally said: "I have something to tell you". "You're gay. I know" was his response. "Oh please that's the worst kept secret in the gay scene here. I was talking with someone about you the other day and he asked 'when is that homo going to finally come out?'" Needless to say I was kinda floored. What gave me away? I asked. Laughingly he said, "You have more skin care products than I do....you have amazing taste in suits and your causal wear consists of nothing but Diesel products...a dead give away." I guess the whole "gaydar" thing is real. But you know, at this point, it's like I don't care anymore. I used to be terrified if people found out I was gay...now...I just don't care. It's an odd feeling. I know that if I came out completely that it would have implications with my job...but somehow I'm okay with that....although I'm not going to come out completely at this point. Just like heartache....coming out is a process.
Congrats! It is such a great feeling when you begin to lose that fear of how others might perceive you. Also, I have to say that I think it is one of the sexiest things to see a man in a fine suit....
Those in the closet always seem to think it's gonna be a huge shock when they come out...and quite often, it isn't. Lex
Hey - So far everyone I've come out to who has known me for a long time has said "no surprise there." And here I thought I was keeping such a deep, dark secret for so long. Perhaps the next step is to see what you can do without chemical support? Peace, Mike
So um question, is Diesel often a gay label? Anyway good job It might not have been the most unorthodox way of coming out, at least it worked fine (though when it was a gay man you came out to, not surprised )
Haha...Oxxford out of Chicago...nothing but the best! Puts me in horrible debt...but I do love a good handmade suit.
I've only had one Oxxford suit in my whole life. Loved it. My biggest splurge now is custom-made clergy shirts in black Egyptian cotton from Ripley shirts in Dallas. They have become insanely expensive but they last 8 years. The other problem is that it is the only source for clergy shirts in 100% cotton. Clerics tend to be into the polyester blends, I think.
The people at your work probably know too. Not to make you feel any more intimidated or naked than you already do, but if you got that sort of response, trust me, you're probably pretty obvious. It seems to happen all the time where people are really, obviously, painfully gay... but they're the last to recognize it. So the good news is, peopel know and nobody cares! So now that they've known, and you know they know, things should start getting a lot easier! Congratulations on taking that big step!
Yes, very much so. Aeropostale and to a lesser extent, Abercrombie as well. If you see a guy wearing a lot of Diesel, there's a high likelihood he's a poofter. If you see a guy wearing Aeropostale or Abercrombie and there are any other signs (bazillion product bottles on the sink in the bathroom, for example) then the likelihood is also good that the guy's light in the loafers
God I got over 20 of them...just measured for another one yesterday, that's all I wear. I knew I was gay when i had my suits insured, lol. bet hell....4 to 7 k a pop you never know.
Hehe... that just might be my new favorite quote. And congrats! Sometimes it's nice when people already suspected you to be gay; it makes the whole coming out process go a lot more smoothly. Although, getting that "Well no shit, Sherlock" look is a bit awkward.
Congratulations! It is a great feeling when you reach this point. Enjoy it. As for work, maybe ask yourself whether the risk is real or whether it is more a projection based on your own internalized homophobia.
As for work, I don't think it would be a major issue as long I was just flaming queen and flaunt it (which I am not and never would). But i'm not at that point yet.
Yeah, you have to wait until you are ready. I raised the question because I found that for me, so often my resistance to coming out was based on my own projections, rather than real risk.
I have to agree with the others, it's quite a fantastic place to be where you can say that you don't care anymore who knows or who finds out. I wish everyone here could get to that point. Congrats on making it to the promised land!
