I came out to my family with the help of my therapist and their reaction was very... Neutral it was weird because they seemed very homophobic I feel relieved that I'm out but I'm really surprised by my parents reaction anybody know if this is a common reaction?
My parents had a similar reaction. They were not judgmental and said they just wanted me to be happy. Yet, there was not much discussion afterward, positive or negative. In some ways, the lack of discussion was a bit disappointing.
The lack of discussion is disapointing and kind of worrying I wonder what they think about it I'm afraid tthey think badly about me it just adds to my depression and fear of what they think of me.
My family was the same way when I came out. I got bad reactions for the frist three days but then nothing. They started acting as if I had said nothing. After a month or so I had to actually fight with my mom because of how they weren't saying anything at all. I told her that I was worried that they were just hoping it was a phase or something. After that fight, everything change. Not immidiately but little by little my mom would tell me what was going on so far. My advice? talk to your therapist and tell her that you want it to be able to talk about it around them and if she could help you create that atmosphere. Maybe your parents are staying quite because they think that is the best option for you right now. You have to let them know if it isn't working for you
My mom sat down, looked at the wall, and was like "ok". My dad was "off" for about a week, but was fine after that. You're not alone at all.
i've experienced the same reaction after coming out to a few friends. example: my roommate from freshmen year; i thought he was very homophobic, and then i heard him say some things which confirmed it. but since he was my roommate, my other friends in the dorm just assumed he knew and mentioned something to him about me being gay. so at the end of the year when he found out, he was cool with it. a lot of homophobic people are that way because they don't think they know anyone who's gay, and form opinions based on the false myths they hear. when they realize they know someone who is gay, they realize it's not something to worry about. at least that's what it seems to be to me
Not surprising at all. Rarely is the news of a child being gay "neutral" to a parent - it's not something most parents are indifferent about. If they were truly caught off guard by this revelation, then what they were probably doing is covering up their surprise by not revealing any emotion at all, to avoid the risk of saying something that's emotionally reactive or not well thought-out. It's a very good parenting tactic - more parents should control their initial reactions this way. Now you need to give them time to accept this new information about you. Let them process it, and be glad that they are working through this. Just keep being who you are and show them that this doesn't change the person they have always known and loved. But if, as TheEdend says, this drags on and they continually avoid the topic, you may want to bring it up again, just in case they're not having an easy time working it out. In the meantime prepare to help them through this by putting together resources like PFLAG and having them on hand. Hopefully they won't be necessary, but at least you'll be prepared if and when.
I became the teen who does not exsist...it could be worse. At least they let me hang and are down with my friends coming over all the time. They know we don't do drugs and are not in a gang. Our grades are OK and all we do is eat too much, stay up to late, and wrestle a lot. I wonder what they think when things get real quiet. ????
