My head is still spinning a bit. I was giving my colleague a lift and the topic turned to gay people. She went into her usual friendly rant of how it is against nature, gay people just made the wrong choice, if you want to have a family and kids you shouldn't choose a same sex person, gay people shouldn't have kids. I wanted to challenge her and said, says who?, do you really think so?, how do you know?, it's not a choice... So she says "well, it's not biblical (?!) and it's just wrong. Anyway, are you thinking of changing sides?" As I had had it with her constant negative remarks I said I actually date men and women and nobody "turns" gay. Her very supportive answer was that I am greedy, want my cake and eat it too, am just very confused and have not learned how to make the right decision yet. She also added I should just learn how to control these wrong feelings. I continued countering her arguments but she kept shaking her head saying no, you should just walk away from those abnormal feelings. After all that, she did throw in "but I don't judge people". Al that in a few minutes and then she had to get out of the car. Probably should've kept my mouth shut, but I just couldn't listen to her hurtful comments anymore. On the other hand, it felt incredibly good to actually for once stand up for myself and not crawl back into that comfortable closet. Am a bit worried about how fast this is going to go around the office. She is not the type to keep her mouth shut. Have only been at this job for a few months and if she puts her spin on it and there are more colleagues like her, the office might become a not so very nice place to be. Just wanted to share and hopefully the next story will be a positive one.
good for you. good for her to hear your reality. another heart begins the process of conversion. keep up the good work, the Lord's work.
Ignorant people like that are becoming a minority. So hopefully you won't have any problems at work. I don't think I'd want to give that person a ride any longer...
Shame she can't control her wrong feelings of being overly judgmental. But hey, we all have our burdens to bear. Lex
You see, besides the homophobic stuff, she actually is a nice person, a great colleague. I think this is a perfect example of religious brainwashing. The bible is her point of reference in arguments and she doesn't stray from that. I'm almost certain that once she actually gets to now "a gay" (or bisexual) in my case, she will realize we are not mad or abnormal and it is not contagious. She certainly is smart enough to figure that out. Part of me wants to give it a go and take away the fear of the unknown for her by being her friend and just being me. Is that overly optimistic or just plain naive?
I wouldn't say so, it's certainly worth a shot. People aren't often open to the possibility of themselves being wrong, but after a while it can sink in that maybe the other person has a point too.
Congratulations You did a very brave thing standing out for yourself like this. Lets hope she is going to give her some thoughts to her attitude and realise that straight, bi or gay, we all are human beings first and deserve to be respected and loved the way we are.
That is terrific that you are comfortable enough to stand up for yourself like that to her.. I would have just stopped the car and told her to get the hell out :dry: But then again..if you want to keep trying with her..more power to ya If she keeps using the bible for reference and a basis for all of her arguments, quote it from time to time..such as: Judge not lest ye be judged. People who normally use that book for reference will often quote that line but never follow it themselves..or the "golden rule" Treat others the way you wish to be treated ..which is why I said I would have tossed her out without a second thought the way she was acting.
Quick update. Guess my fears were unfounded. She did not turn it into the weekly gossip item. She did not start treating me differently. She is not keeping her distance (as she has been told to do by her parents and church) and she is still her cheerful friendly self towards me. It really is like nothing has changed. Despite her very strong religious beliefs and her very powerful rant, she has treated my coming out as a non-issue. Shame on me for assuming the worst. I never thought this to be possible. It almost sounds too good to be true. This really fills me with hope. Gives me strength to come out to more people, the ones that are closest to me. People surprise me every day.
Gives you hope in the future, huh? Sounds like most of it went well. Just make sure she isn't in denial about it or anything.
That's great (*hug*). This is one more exemple that people have preconceived ideas about gay people, but that when they realize people they know and love are gay, their attitude changes for the best. It's good for you and it's good for your friend. Take care (*hug*)
