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Tellin my cousin

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by riddlerno1, Jun 13, 2010.

  1. riddlerno1

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    Ok so in the last few weeks i have not been myself and it has felt really tough to not tell my family about my sexuality. Now family members such as cousins are asking me questions and one of couins in particular is saying that whatever i am going through, he will be there for me. Now we have arranged to meet sometime this week and i dont know whether to trust him to tell him. He has always been fairly homophobic but since he met his girlfriend he has matured alot. Now this would be such a big step for me to tell someone in my family but i always wanted that to be my parents first. I am not sure whether to trust him but then i dont know how much longer i can go on in this depressive state. :frowning2:
     
  2. x2x2x2x2y2

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    if he were to tell your family, would you be ready for that??

    If yes, then I think you should tell him. People change, and maybe he will be ok with it. Plus, a lot of people seem homophobic until someone that's usually around them come out, then they change their way of thinking about gays. And eventually your family will know anyways.

    If no, then would you be ready to tell your parents?? You said you wanted them to be first in the family to know, and you need someone to talk to and be open with about your sexuality.

    Of course, if you are afraid of telling your cousin because he could tell others, and you don't wanna tell your parents yet, why not talk to a friend about what you're going through??
     
  3. riddlerno1

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    Yeah all my friends know already and they have been great. I guess cos its family now and thats why its so tough!!

    I spoke to one of my best friends and she was quite wary of telling my cousin simply cos of the fact that he may blab and then would i be ready for what may come next. She actually said that i need to considor my parents in this too as how they may feel knowing that someone else in the family knew before they did. I do undertand that but there is a part of me that just wants to say it to a family memebr too!! But maybe i should wait till ive told my parents first as they may decide that they dont want others knowing!!
     
  4. stevie

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    what is the advantage of telling your cousin before your parents, especially if he would blab. if he would help you by being supportive and be useful to u when u tell ur parents that is one thing. if not, why tell him first?
     
  5. riddlerno1

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    Well, to give an update, i have told my cousin. He asked me outright and initially i said no but then he pointed out that alot of my family have seen my pictures on facebook (where i am at parties where other guys are perhaps kissing or arms round each other; im not in these pics but they were part of an album i was tagged in and some of my family looked at this album). So although they are giving me the benefit of the doubt, he said that he personally thinks that alot of different things point to me being gay and so in the end i just said yep i am gay.

    Now, he was actually very kind and supportive and did say he wouldnt tell anyone and would be there if i needed him. So i guess i now have to trust him and see what happens. It is leaving me in a state of confusion as to what next big milestone is waiting!! :frowning2:
     
  6. x2x2x2x2y2

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    Congrats!! I think you can trust him. He seems like a good guy.