I discovered Empty Closets the other day and have hardly stopped reading these stories. They really are a help and reassurance for someone in the process of coming out and I want to thank you guys for that. I've known I've been attracted to guys from about the age of 14, while at the same time being attracted to gals. It never really struck me and didn't really affect me in such a bad way. It's not obvious to anyone that I'm Bi so, thankfully, I managed to go through school life unscathed, something I know others would wish for. But it wasn't until sometime last year that i finally came to terms with who I am. I guess i always knew i was attracted to guys but it wasn't something that haunted me or depressed me. It's just been this secret. Anyway, last year I decided I couldn't carry on hiding this part of me. I think most of all it was fear of getting found out, but I also was at a stage where I just wanted to say what I felt and kiss who I wanted and be with the person who I wanted to be with, not that there was anybody at the time. So last year I was at a party and that's when I came out. It was just a small gathering; and I knew everyone there as close friends. Tonight was the night. I hadn't really planned it to go how it did, but I knew that I wanted to tell someone. Anyone. My good friend...let's call her Amy, arrived and it wasn't long until I asked her for a chat. I don't know why I picked this girl as - at the time - she wasn't my closest friend. Looking back it was probably due to the fact that those closer to me than she was were all very straight males. I had a quick drink and told her in a secluded part of the garden. "Girls aren't the only gender I like" were the words. "I'm bi". She nodded. She smiled. She asked me how long I'd known. And she told me that nobody is going to judge me and then she said something really odd. "I was just saying to Beth on the way here that you're a great guy but I always felt like you were somewhat distracted" As I suspected, she was surprised, and actually thought i was going to tell her I was in love with someone [I'm guessing she meant herself as I have a tendency to tell the girl to her face I love her at parties. Bad move]. She told me that people will still love me for who I am and: "just like if someone were to come out to you, it wouldn't matter. It works both ways" to which I replied. "bit like me". A wave of relief rushed over me. I felt fantastic. And told everyone on the same night. All ten of them. I hadn't planned to before then, but my fear of rejection fell away. Well let me tell you now, I realised that night I have the best group of friends ever and it also spurred a girl at the party who I didn't know well to come out as a lesbian. A year has passed and I'm sitting here and in two days I'm meeting with my older sister to tell her. I'm hoping she'll guide me and I'm hoping that she'll give an unbias perspective on how my parents will take it. I have the same feeling I did last year. That I'm just days away. I'm urging to tell them and just waiting for the right time. And it's you guys who have helped me. So thankyou. And my apologies for the essay. Sheesh. :eusa_doh:
Holy crap you are one brave kid! Way to come out to your friends like that It looks like you'll have a lot of support when you go to tell your parents (both from your friends and us on EC ). Good Luck
Your story and your friends are just great, it's a blessing to have such friends Good luck for coming out to your sister, I hope everything will be fine =) Congrats.
Thanks, guys. I actually changed my mind and have an e-mail written out ready to send to my sister...my mouse is hovering over the SNED button. I know once I press it, everything changes. Fuck, being who you are really shouldn't be this difficult. ______ Eleven minutes of being a wuss and I clicked the send button. Shit.
My sister is the best in the world. She doesn't give a damn, loves me still the same and offered to be there when I tell my parents. I feel brilliant.
*voice from the back of your mind says "hit the send button..."* lol just kidding, sorta. Good job on coming out to your friends at that party and best of luck with your sister. =) Edit: Damn just missed trying to tell you to hit it before we heard back from ya lol. Congratz on her reaction and hopefully when you tell your parents they will be as understanding.
Cheers, man. Big weight off the shoulders. She's been great. Calling me a "big geek" for being so worried about her reaction. She told me it was a complete surprise, so that makes it a bit more difficult to tell the rents but with my sister there that's some help. The feeling of freedom is overwhelming.
Congrats man. That's the way family and friends should react. I wish you the very best of luck in telling your parents. I hope it goes smoothly.
Well, here we are again. A few weeks after I made this post, I came out to my mum. I was feeling low with it going around in my mind, and we went to walk the dogs together. She asked me what was wrong and I just came out with it... pardon the pun. "I'm bisexual" I told her. So she cried. And replied: "So you think you're gay?". Bless. She's not too clued up on sexuality at all, really. It's all very black and white to her. You're gay or you're not. She told my step-dad and he didn't give a crap. He took a kind of, "What of it...?" attitude, which is great. My mum, though, not so much. She cried for like, a day. She told me it wasn't because she was disappointed, she was just worried about how difficult my life will be in the future. It was concern, rather than anything else. Months have passed and I still haven't told my Dad. I want to because it's not like I care what he will say so it's just frustrating that I can't tell him. I rarely see him so it makes things difficult. Plus he's well immature and will make it all about him, get drunk and call my sister. Which isn't fair on her. My mum is still pretty awkward about things, asking face-slapping questions like "are you transgender?" because she saw a transgender person on TV, telling me she doesn't think "I am" because nothing has happened with a guy yet and asking me if I "can tell" who else is gay. All very embarrassing, ignorant questions, but not intentionally. She's just not very clued up. Her family all know and soon after I went to a party and my aunties and cousins were giving me little winks and heads up as if to say "It's cool". Which is good - but why shouldn't it be? The best thing about everyone knowing though, is winding my very straight friend up. We'll be in a bar and a fit guy will walk past and I'll be all "Look at the ass on that". He'll momentarily forget and start searching for a girl until I point him out. "Oh!! Disgusting!!". He's hilarious. Just thought i'd update for y'all!
