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how long did it take...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Pseudojim, Jul 23, 2010.

  1. Pseudojim

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    ... between the time when YOU first knew you were queer, and the time when you first told someone else?

    I'm wondering if i'm unusual in that it was only about a day. does it usually take longer? SHOULD it usually take longer?
     
  2. Filip

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    Between the time I had a pretty good idea, and I told someone? Twelve years.
    Between the time I accepted it for myselfn and told someone? Half a year.

    But I just took a long time. One of my best friends started to question his sexuality, came to the conclusion he was gay, accepted it and told all of us (his other friends) in a month.

    I honestly don't believe there's a time it should take. when you're ready, you're ready, whether it's after an hour, or after ten years. Though if it's just a day, I'd think that there has already been subconscious dealing with it for longer, and if it takes multiple years, some help might not go amiss...
     
  3. Pseudojim

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    Probably so. Everything just clicked into place and made sense one day.
     
  4. 8bit

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    When I was about 6 or 7?
    I always thought homosexuality was a choice, not in a bad way, just, you can pick and choose.
    The first time i remember "realizing" i was gay was when i wrote on a dusty car somewhere "I want to be gay when i grow up"

    That's all I remember.
    That, and I was playing a freeze-tag of some sort.
     
  5. Jiggles

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    Well I have always known but took until i was 17 to accept that I was. Then 3 weeks after accepting my self I told my first person. xD
     
  6. Iniquity

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    When I was thinking it, it took two years. When I realized it and accepted it, and was ready to tell others if they needed to know, two weeks.
     
  7. malachite

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    I took years. But there is not right amount of time, you should be proud you were able to accept yourself right out of the gate.
     
  8. Eric

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    Most kids just want to be a fireman or something. =P

    Uhm, it's hard to tell because I'm not even quite sure when I figured out I was gay. I think maybe when I was about 12 to 13-ish, I thought I was bi, so probably closer to 14 I realized I was more exclusively attracted to other guys than girls. I pretty much only started accepting it as being normal just last year, so it took me 2 years between when I realized it and about 8 months between when I accepted it and told my first (and to date only) person.
     
  9. alan t

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    like 8 years or something.

    I don't see why it should take longer, I think it's great that you could tell people immediately, believe me it's not fun taking longer.
     
  10. Bang Bang

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    I accepted myself as being bisexual around the age 14. I've been "queerish" since birth (trust me, there's evidence to show), but I've never actually come to terms with it.
    When I was 14, I finally understood that I like both men and women, but mainly men. Ha!

    The first person I told about my bisexuality was a dear friend of mine just earlier this year (17 years old). It's been a long time hiding myself in the closet, I had to come out. I'm very happy I did. :slight_smile:
     
  11. sleeb

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    I think I told the first person I'm pretty sure I'm bi" after only a week or two of first realizing what was going on. And then I shut up for 10 years and ignored it all as much as I could. After my proper eye opener, I think it took me a few months to build up the courage to say something to a friend.

    I agree though; there's no time frame at all ... whatever feels right ...
     
  12. zzzero

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    Well I knew I was different my whole life. Like I remember feeling different in kindergarten.
    Accepting it didn't happen until mid way through my second year of college. And it did happen all in one flash. I woke up one morning and thought to myself, "I only watch gay porn, I never talk about girls, I never look at girls in a sexual way whatsoever, so who am I really trying to hide anything from? people ask if I"m gay and I tell them i'm not, when really I am, and it's clear they dont care" and that's when I decided I needed to tell people. It was only a few months after that that I actually went through with it. I had to go through the process of denial and all of that after I accepted it.

    Though I used to pretend it would go away before I came out. Now I couldn't be happier just the way i am.
     
  13. Owl47

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    I have to say that I always had ideas, despite how much I kept my feelings repressed. The first time I actually admitted the possibility of me being gay to myself was the end of senior year of high school. The first time I told someone was the end of freshman year in college.
     
  14. x2x2x2x2y2

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    I have no idea. I remember looking at gay porn when I was like 13 but it felt so natural that I never really thought or questioned it. So I never really said "I'm gay" to myself. Maybe I've always known. Like I said, it felt completely natural and normal for me to look at guys that way.
     
  15. paco

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    psh i wish it had only taken a day. i knew for 7 years before i told anyone, and those 7 years were years of solitary torment, and now i'm just doing all i can to cancel that out and open back up cause i still know life is too great to not share.
     
  16. after i suspected I might be gay - 4 years
    after i accepted my sexuality - 2 weeks
     
  17. OutToSea

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    Half a year. I actually had a lot more trouble after coming out to my first person in terms of loneliness, anger, and depression. I could tell people relatively easily after a few months post my first coming out.
     
  18. kettlkorn

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    Decidedly longer than one day. Something like 12 years or so... but I'm a late bloomer I suppose haha
     
  19. GoinStag

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    I was aware that I was attracted to guys in a way my whole life, but I always played it off as I "admired them". Then are started getting crushes on guys (like 30 years old, not my own age lol) when I was 13. I knew I was gay, but I blocked it out kinda. I didn't actually accept it 'till last summer, when I was 15. I was watching "Queer As Folk" online, and it helped me realize that there's nothing wrong with it and that people understand.

    Honestly up until I realized I was gay, I thought I was just weird or crazy. Like "wow are things like this for me?" and it all kinda came together lol.
     
  20. Lexington

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    Several months. I found it strange that I had no clue up until then (age 20) and decided to give it some time to see if it was just some phase.

    Lex