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I came out to my mom. o.o

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by blacksheep, Jul 26, 2010.

  1. blacksheep

    blacksheep Guest

    I came out to my mom last night when we were playing Apples to Apples. The power went out and we were still playing. It started out with me getting the "Redneck" red apple card and she said that I am a redneck and I said that I'm not because when someone calls you a redneck, it's generally a bad thing.
    She asked why I couldn't accept it and after this mass amount of arguing, I confessed that I'm bi.
    So, apparently she is too, but she came out of it "straight" and she "grew out of it". That's what she told me.
    She kept asking if I was straight or gay and we were both crying and what not. And she started telling me that she couldn't trust me anymore. She now believes that I'm gay and even made a gay joke when I was in the kitchen.
    I'm scared to confront my mom now because the last thing she said was that she wanted to kill me.
    All I want is to be able to sit down with my family and play a nice little card game. But it seems like that's impossible now.:bang:

    In a way, I'm glad I got it out of the way. In another way, I wish I had never said anything.
     
  2. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    My guess is that it was probably just a shock to her... not at all something she expected to come out of playing Apples to Apples. So give her a little time. I think she'll calm down and within a few days will probably come to her senses and be ok with it.

    I think this is one of those situations where, for now, the least said the better. If there's been no further conversation in a week or two, you might gently bring it up again... or just create a situation where she can bring it up and see what happens then.

    Remember the stages of loss (in this case, loss of you as a straight person) denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. Most every parent goes through that in some way while coming to accept their children as gay or lesbian.

    I hope that helps. :slight_smile:
     
  3. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    That really sucks. You have a mom that actually believes that being bi is having the option of "choosing" your team. There is not way you will be able to explain it her differently, I don't think.

    You should talk to her about it and ask her if shes ok with it. It seems that you don't really know where she stands. Try not to convince her about the bi thing too much. If she calls you gay, then just go with it and later on you can help her understand. Thats what I had to do with my mom. She said she just thinks I'm gay and that bisexuality doesn't exists. After some fights I just gave up and now I'm letting her think whatever. As long as she "accepts" me right now I don't care.
     
  4. Markio

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    Firstly, that was very brave of you to talk so earnestly with your mom like that.
    Secondly, you play card games when the power goes out?? My family played Monopoly! :slight_smile:
    Thirdly, I agree with Chip about the stages of loss. Give her time and be honest about yourself when she brings it up.