Alright so to clear up what I mean by coming out to my mom for the second time. Back in February (2010), I had come out to my mom, and everyone else but my dad, as a Lesbian. Last night, I came out to her as transgender. It was hard, extremely hard. We watched an episode of the new degrassi series. I started talking about the trans character, Adam/Gracie. I asked my mom how she would feel in that position having a child thats trans and she said she didn't know how she would react because she didn't have to go through that. She asked me why, did I think I was a boy. I really wish I had said yes, but nope, didn't, I backed out, I was scared. After a while of talking to my girlfriend and a few other people, I decided to just do it. I knew it would be hard, and something bad may have happened. She had fallen asleep on the couch so I woke her up. After she said she was going to bed, I told her I wanted to talk to her first. I sat on the couch beside her, and said; "Mom, you know that character on Degrassi, that's transgendered? Well, that's me, I'm a boy, stuck in a girls body." She didn't understand, she thought being transgendered was being both female and male, I explained to her that it meant I was a boy inside, but my body was a girl. I explained how I was going to talk to my doctor about gender therapy. After this, she went downstairs to the basement where the computer is and was also talking on the phone with who knows. I went to my room, left my door open. She came in my room, crying. We talked more, and she kept saying she wanted to support me but just didn't understand. She said that if I wanted her to go to the doctors with me, that she would. I take this as she wants to go. I believe it is a good idea for my mom to go, to educate her. It may also make her feel better, closer to me. Anyway, thats how it went. It still hurts me that I made my mom cry. The pain in her eyes hurts me, but I had to tell her at some point....
Oh that's very brave. Well done! (*hug*) Your mum although getting a shock. Has been understanding and if you think it would help her and more importantly you for her to come along why not? Anyway well done again. (*hug*)
I really don't think you are the one hurting her. I truly think that she not understanding it all and not being to help you as much as she can is what is hurting her. You have an awesome mom. Congrats on finally doing it
Congrats on taking this huge, huge step. I hope your mom truly does want to understand and learn more so she can support you more. You're not hurting your mom if you're telling her the truth. I think she will support you. Well done.
You're very, very brave. (*hug*) What you did required a tremendous amount of strength, courage, and self-confidence. You've done one of the hardest things a person can ever do, and it is no easy feat. Bravo! :eusa_clap
thanks everyone. By the way, she's deep in denial now. Sighhhhhh. She keeps saying "you CAN be a butch lesbian.." lol i tried to be for 3-4 years! It's just not who I am.. I'm a boy! lol I'm close to getting help. A facilitator at a group i go to is looking around for groups in the city that my mom could go to. And if she wants he is willing to talk to her.
i would try and get some good reference material for her and get her to go to the doctor and PFLAG meetings with you to learn more about what it is to be transgender. I don't think she understands exactly what it means. The thing that i think scares parents the most is "how can i have grandkids" and worrying about the stigma you might face. The child thing you can still do, idk if you plan to go through surgery but you can have eggs saved for artificial insemination or have the surgery done to still allow for child birth via C-section. As for the discrimination and such that is something no parent can really do anything about the best thing she can do is support you as you are the one having to face it. Having her talk to some other parents of trans youth would probably very beneficial.
Oh im not getting prego .. or using my eggs what so ever. My gf (although we don't know what our future holds) want to have a sperm donar lol.. I'm fine with that, as long as the kid can be called my son/daughter (if it happens that we're still together which i hope to god that we will be for a verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry long time lol ) Even if it doesn't work out with us, i would still wanna be friends lol :$
