I was talking with my mom about how my best friend and her girlfriend just got engaged and how I was so incredibly happy for them. Then the subject turned to me asking how her side of the family took it when my uncle (her brother) came out. So she told me that long story (she was definitely supportive) whiiiich led to this following conversation: Mom: So, what are you? Me: Uh...what? Mom: I mean, who are you interested in? Me: Who do you think I'm interested in? Mom: Well, I thought you were always into guys. I mean, I know you liked these boys a while ago (this is not exactly true. I don't often talk about guys so I think she was just assuming when I did) Am I right? Me: *trying to hide a smile but failing epically* Yeah mom, I'm into guys. BAH! Absolutely perfect perfect moment. But I know she knows. Why would she ask that in the first place? Plus there's been other hints I've dropped like showing her news articles or talking about the news and things around the town. I think the biggest one was: Mom: Don't you ever want to dress up to impress any boys? Me: No mom...I don't. Mom: ....do you have something to tell me? Me: *sarcastically* Yeah mom...actually I do. Hahaha, so I think she knows. I'm not good at hiding.... I just want this opportunity to come again! Sorry this is so long.
She totally knows. You don't have to wait for the opportunity to come again, you can just go and say "Hey you know the other day? I did have something to tell you... " and just go from there. But even though it's scary... I can say with 99.999% assurance that she already knows and is waiting for you to tell her.
>>>Why would she ask that in the first place? It's called an "opening". The only thing that seems weird is that she defaulted to you "liking guys". Perhaps she didn't want to accuse you of being gay, but wanted you to take the lead there. But whatever it is, she knows. Feel free to tell her. As Chip states, feel free to bring up the old conversation. "Yeah, you know how you asked if I liked guys? Yeah, not so much." Lex
It sounds to me like this conversation is bound to happen again. So when it does, be ready.. be prepared to walk through that door!
Thanks, everyone! And the funny thing is I've dreamt of a situation like that happening and I couldn't believe it actually did. And when it did I blew it. Hopefully it'll come around again...if not I'll bring it up. Eventually.
At this point, it's probably better to just get it out of the way quickly. You know she'll be supportive. Despite all of that, you'll feel hesitant to bring it up again, but once you do get it out of the way, you'll feel great, and you'll wonder why you hesitated in the first place. Just go to her and say something like "Mom, you probably figured it out, but I wasn't totally honest with you the other day."
>>>Hopefully it'll come around again...if not I'll bring it up. Eventually. As you've seen, when the situation DOES come around, you don't (or can't) take advantage of it. Don't wait for another chance. Make your own. Lex
Ah, true true. Good point. I always thought I'd be ready when that time came. I guess that's just how different real life is than in my head. But thanks, I'll definitely have to bring it up again. This conversation happened a few weeks ago so I don't even know if she remembers it. It's just been on my mind so much. But thanks all, really. You've helped tons
Haha, she sounds like my mom! Pretty sure she knows but can't build up the courage to just say it. lol But I guess the thing with me is that I don't want my younger siblings to know. I think they're too young for that stuff. Anyway, hope it works out well! You can do it!
Don't beat yourself up too much about missing the opportunity. I sure missed a couple of wide open opportunities before I came out. After yet again claiming to be straight or changing the subject, I always felt terrible. But you know what I finally realized? If one of your friends or family is leading the conversation there, they 1. Probably know you're not entirely straight 2. Wouldn't care if you were gay. Don't worry about it. Think of these not as missed opportunities but just support from your family. Your mom might not be able to say "I don't care you're gay, I love you anyways" but she feels like she can hint strongly that she feels that way. Good luck on your next opportunity. I hope you can take it and jump out of the closet.
