So, last Sunday night I came out to a friend, the first person I've told, and it went well. Since then he's said that I should be more open about it because continually repressing it won't help. He said it'll give me a chance to "explore" it. I'm thinking about telling two more friends, although I'd ask them to keep it to themselves and not tell anyone for now. The thing is, I don't want it getting out to too many people, mainly because it might force me to tell my family before I'm ready to.....but if I tell people I trust first, individually, that probably won't happen. I'm not too sure how I'm even gonna tell them, I might just tell them over msn because it's easier than face to face, and I don't know how to get them when they're on their own. I was talking to one of them today and there was no way I felt like I could tell him.....but I know I have to. I should say that all my close friends are straight males I just need to build up courage to do it. I don't even know why I'm creating this thread, I just felt like sharing all of this.
You don't have to tell your friends if you're not ready. What kinds of reactions do you think you'll get from them??
Hi,well my advice would be to come out to the friends you have in mind because as your friend has already said(basicly)that this will help you gain alot of confidece,plus you will feel alot better in yourself if you can talk openly with them without haveing to think what to say so as not to start conversations that could get awkward. Once you can be open to a few friends that big dread of family slowly seems to get easier until you just feel the time has come,you will know when your ready but once you are out to just a few that fear soon fades away,infact you start to want people to know so your not having to be carefull all the time. Youve already done the hardest part,it just gets easier after each one from here!! good look
If you feel you are ok with them knowing then go for it! One thing has to be clear though. When you start telling people there is ALWAYS a chance that it might get out. Be ready for that small chance. Only tell people that you truly trust. Other than that, go for it
Thank you all for your replies It's weird, I've went for so long with this in my head, yet because I've came out to someone I feel a greater need to tell some others now. As for how others would react, I can't tell for sure, but they're generally not homophobic, but they'll certainly be shocked I guess.......I'm pretty sure that whatever happens they wouldn't tell anyone else. I'd trust them with my life. I know that there's a chance it could get out however, so I will be prepared incase. The only people I care about knowing though are my friends and family, and especially the latter I'd like them to hear it from me, hence my desire for secrecy at the moment. I don't yet feel I have the courage to tell them, but I may do within the next week. Its playing on my mind a lot and if three close friends knew I think I'd feel more comfortable, so I think I will go for it. Its the only way to improve things I think, I could finally be open - at least with certain people - about who I am. I just feel really nervous about doing so. Again, thanks a lot for all your help
Haha. I know this feeling. It's a rush. It's kind of like this little key you get to turn a few times and get a guaranteed adrenaline rush. For me, I found myself really nervous and then it would just come out (pardon the unintended pun). If you just start the conversation and get to a point of no return without saying anything yet, it usually just happens. It's kind of forcing yourself to do it.
Yeah I can totally relate to that. Its the uncertainty of the reaction that gets to me, plus I never feel comfortable talking about anything personal. I had an opportunity this morning to tell one of them and I just couldn't say it I was typing the words and just kept deleting them again.....I did this like five times. I'm hoping I'll build up the courage at some point. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.
Congratulations. I came out to my best friend last month and it was awesome. She was the first person that I have actually told I was gay. It has been increasingly easier to tell close friends and also my sister. I have actually came out to most of my friends and plan on coming out to my parents next weekend when I return home. Continue coming out and be proud to be gay. I am!
Hey Wow its weird looking back at what I wrote months ago before I was fully out, yet it wasn't too long ago really. I'm glad to say I've overcame these hurdles and I'm happy that this doesn't bother me anymore. I remember so clearly the first time I told someone, I was incredibly nervous and scared but ultimately such a huge relief. Saying the words "I'm gay", and the world not then ending is an incredible feeling. I'm glad you had the strength to tell the people closest to you, you must feel so happy. Congratulations. I'm sure it will go well when you tell your parents, I wish you all the best!
