Finally came out to my sister

I am now finally out to my sister, about time given that I’ve been attempting to tell her for about 8 years, and have only now struck up the courage. As usual it was in the worst way possible, and only because I felt I had been backed into a corner.

The problem I’ve had in the past is that my family don’t talk about relationships; or personal matters at all really, which has made them unapproachable on this matter. While my best friends know, I’ve kept my sexuality a secret from my family, I’ve felt I’ve had no other choice. I’ve had a boyfriend now for well over a year, being nearer to him was a huge influence on my decision to move closer to home this year. And after over a year of fate seemingly keeping me and my boyfriend apart, we are now purely by chance, going to be in the same city this year, and we’re going to move in together (which I’m incredibly excited about).

I’ve been trying to psyche myself up to telling them about my boyfriend, M, for a while now. I sorta told my twin brother at Hogmanay but he hasn’t mentioned it since, but I’ve been mentioning M a lot more to my family (obviously in just a friend context), and he has been to my house and met my parents, and he, my sister and my twin went to the Edinburgh Festival together. My straight best friend has been encouraging me to tell my sister, but even though he's given great advice, I still couldn't do it. On Friday night, as M was visiting my flat, we were discussing whether we felt we were ready to move in together. Talking it out made it completely clear in my head how much I love M, how we will make it work, thinking of our future together. I think this helped me a lot in gaining the courage to say something.

So on Saturday my sister and I were alone at my parents home, and she was talking about coming to visit me in my flat, which obviously having my boyfriend sharing my flat with me would cause issues. So after making a cup of tea, and sitting down to watch some TV, I said to my sister that I have 3 things to say to her. 1, I’m gay, 2, I have a boyfriend, 2 ½ my boyfriend is M who you met at the Edinburgh Festival, and 3, M and I are moving in together. Her reaction was brilliant, she was very clear and said it was okay, she asked me questions about when I knew I was gay, and we joked about a lot. She quite rightly said that I shouldn’t tell my mum and dad that way cos they’ll have a heart attack if I unleash it all at once. I felt very relieved, sort of hyper aswell. But she was excellent, and we even discussed how to tell my parents (she thinks they’ll be fine, though may have a problem with me moving in with M).

Sorry for yet again writing an essay, but it has been a while and I have a lot to say. I think looking back at my first cry for help on emptyclosets 3 years ago, and seeing where my life has taken me since really makes me feel great. I feel so much stronger now, I feel ready to tell more people, eventually I hope that telling people won’t be an issue. I would like to thank everyone on emptyclosets for the hugely important and helpful forums that really helped me come to terms with my sexuality. I know if it wasn’t for EC, I would never have found my boyfriend and I would never have had the confidence to be proud of who I am. I don’t post here often, I tend to find that I don’t need to, so many people here give amazing advice, but I do read regularly. I just hope that others find this site as invaluable as I have.