I finally came out to 2 friends yesterday. It wasnt the best way to do it but i finally did it. I was drinking with my friends and i got very sad. My friends asked me what was wrong with me and at first I didnt tell them anything. As I kept driking, I got pretty drunk and end up telling that I was sad because I'm gay. They told me it is ok and that it is ok if I'm gay and that they will be my friends no matter what. They were very supportative, but they were drunk too so I dont know if what they was sincere or just drunk talk. I was not planning on coming out yet, it was the liquor that made me come out. I haven't talked to them since last night, but I'm going to call them today and see if they remember anything. I'm not freaking out, but i cant believe I did it. I hope it doesnt ruin my friendship with them. Well, that's all i wanted to say haha. ~Charlie
aww coming out by accident sucks but it's great that your friends were so supportive... wish my friends had been like that
Ah.. When people are drunk they are the most honest. So if your friends were supportive when they are drunk, they'll be fine when they are sober.
congrats. I've just come out - mostly, and I've had happiness chasing me around insistenly since. If you're friends were serious, i hope they were, then you'll probably get the same thing. I certainly hope it doesnt stop for me
I'm just wondering, what are your plans now? It must have been tough to "come out" before you are ready but I'd recommend embracing it. Mention to them that it was not the liquor talking, that you are actually gay. And let them that you thought it was very cool that they were supportive.
I tried to talk to them, but I was not able to bring the topic up, and they didnt brought it up either. It was as if our conversation never happened. One of them is my roommate and things have been normal, no ackward silences or anything. I want to talk to them sober, but I have no courage. Also I am going to write down what i want to tell them. I am not sure yet what i'm going to do. I dont think i will come out to anyone else in the near future. I am not confortable with being gay yet, I need more time.
I feel a similar way (we happen to be the same age). I feel very fortunate I had one great friend to come out to. I built a little momentum from that and told another. Yet still reluctant to coming out to many others. Why do you feel you need more time to tell anyone? I felt very liberated by just telling a few people. I'd say it must be pretty awkward between you and those friends right now. Why not just tell them that you were very honored by their support or something (you don't need anything else to lead into this, surely you see your roommate around from time to time...). And say that you aren't ready to come out to anyone else and please keep it quiet...
Although I know I'm not straight, sometimes I feel that I dont want to be gay and that I want to be straight and I'm not sure if i want to embrace it. I am not 100% confortable with it, and Im not sure if i'll ever be. My roommate went back home and I haven't seen her. i saw her for a little bit this morning, but things were not awkward. She is a good person and has a couple of gay friends, so I know she is ok with it, maybe a lil' shocked. I havent seen my other friend, but we talked on the phone and I didnt notice anything weird. I will have to wait until I see him I guess. Thanks for your advice though, hopefully things will end up well.
MSN, my friend. it is much easier. but you do need to tell them sober as well as when you were drunk. As for the Int. homophobia, i literally had it until about a week and a half ago, and then suddenly it was just totally gone. then i started to be able to come out, and just basically talk about my sexuality without sealing up and walking away. i guess what made it go was me starting to explore my self better. i started coming round to this forum (which i am totally addicted to, thnx guys) and basically being pathetic enough to watch the L word. something else that seems to have gone in the last week is continuously wishing i was straight, just so it would make things easier. i dunno if it will or not but i hope not. what i'm saying is that it will get better. Just try to understand yourself better. coming out feels a hell of a lot better than lying to everyone you meet. its not about ethics - the lying - just about not exploding the closet and taking my sanity with it.
Are you a very religious person? Are you otherwise very traditional (or maybe just raised to be that way)? I don't consider myself either of the former so it was easy for me... what do you feel is stopping you? I also had feelings that I didn't want to be gay. But what trumped that was the desire to be honest with myself and others - to live an honest and open life. Thinking of the opposite... marrying a woman, lying to her and the kids, likely hurting them all somewhere down the road (and always having the feeling that I'm living a lie) made me cringe. Living that lie, I felt, was just ridiculous in this day and age of overall acceptance (and people are only growing more accepting.)
I am not religious religious at all, but I was raised to be straight. I come from a very catholic country were being gay is not good at all. Gay people are very descriminated and have a very hard time (they even get murdered many times just for being gay). Now i live in the US, were people are more accepting, but I feel uneasy about it anyway. Also, I guess i like the straight life style so much and my desire to have kids is so great that I hate being gay. Sometimes I see it as an obstacle that fate put in my way, and that I have to overcome to become straight (which is nonsense, I know). I think about that all the time, and it causes me a lot of pain. Right now, I dont think that being gay could give me the happiness that living a lie as a straight guy could give me. My desire to have biological children is so great that it makes me refuse to be gay. Maybe if I meet a guy my point of view will change. That's why i didnt want to come out yet and I dont feel ready to come out. I have a long way to go before i accept myself the way i'm.
