1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Coming out to lifetime friend :bang:

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by akorn1, Jan 4, 2006.

  1. akorn1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South africa
    This was my delema i have a very good friend that lives 2 houses from me we have been friends for ever and recently i have been developing feeling for him that i shouldnt have i have been dating girls but this is the first time i have been atracted to a guy hes very very cute smart and always funny .I cannot stop thinking about him it drives me insane but hes is straight and i want to tell him that i love him but i dont know how hell react and he is my best friend so if i tell him that might spoil our friendship what can i do!!????? help me please whaat to do

    well i did it today after years of liking him i told him today \.. But i think i shouldnt have done it because he said it was cool and all but i can see in his eyes the anger:icon_evil hatred me liking him he is very straight so asof now i am just sitting,waiting for a response of what he really is feeling i shouldnt have told him n shouldnt have he hates me i hope he will just forgive me i told him i am sorry and that i would break our friendship was that right help?:bang: :help: :help:
     
  2. CryCrazy27

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MN
    considering you guys are 15-16 years old, i would say thats a bad move on ur part (sorry). You dont tell ur straight best friend that you love him, even if you do, thats crossing the line IMO. I dunno what to say, dunno what kind of teenage influence is around you in SA so not sure how i can relate. and im tired as hell. ill leave it to the other doods.
     
  3. Micah

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    2,284
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    I know right now you're feeling extremely worried and stressed, mostly because you simply dont know what's going through his head. You're probably running every single possible scenario through your mind. This is going to be really hard to do, but stop worrying about it. Preoccupy yourself somehow, because by the sound of it all that your worrying is going to do is drive yourself crazy - it isn't going to fix the situation.

    He told you he was ok, and he didn't get physically angry at you, which in my opinion is extremely good for telling a straight guy you're in love with him. It means that he respects you enough to seriously consider the future of your friendship. By the sounds of it you two are close and you said you dont want the friendship to be spoilt, so its quite natural for him to feel the same way.

    Did he know before this that you were gay? If not he was hit with a double blow. It's going to take time for this to sink in and for him to get used to the concept of his best friend being gay as well as liking him. Give it time, try not to worry about what's already been said, and talk about it with him when he's ready to.
     
  4. akorn1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South africa
    well Dave u understand completely how i feel about the situation. He never suspected before that i liked him in a otherway than just you know friends and didnt suspect me gay but i know i must give him time to thin and im doing it
     
  5. joeyconnick

    joeyconnick Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2005
    Messages:
    3,069
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, ON
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yeah... the general advice if you're in love with your best friend who doesn't know you're gay is to come out to them but keep your feelings for them to yourself for a bit so that you're not confusing the issue.

    And I say general because I think 99.9% of gay guys I know were in love with their best guy friend at some point. Some of us still are, I'm sure. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  6. jenny2005

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2005
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NY
    Straight men usually aren't very empathetic as a first reaction to news like this. It will take him a lot of time to put himself in your position and understand where you are coming from. Also, since he was also just finding out that you are gay, it will take him a while to redefine his relationship with you. I'm sure that it will turn out well, just give him time.
    I agree with Dave that it appears that your friend cares about you and still wants to be your friend. I think you just scared him a little bit telling him about your true feelings. I would try to have another talk and tell him that you didn't mean to shock him with your feelings. Tell him that your first priority is your friendship with him (not a romantic relationship) and that you love him firstly as a friend. In time, I'm sure he will come around and be very supportive of you. Good Luck!
     
  7. Endlessnight500

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2007
    Messages:
    151
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Macon, Ga
    I Hope things work out for you. I came out to my Straight bestfriend in 9th grade by telling him i liked him, and He was Ok with it, we actually Grew closer together, as a Matter of fact he was so ok with it i started to wounder about his sexuality, lol, so who knows, mabey you two were close enough to have this bring you together, and if not, why worry about it, You should have friends who ACCEPT YOU, and if he doesnt it will hurt, but what will hurt more, you losing him as a Friend and moving on to Friends who are there for you, OR Trying to Force your friendship to work, and not having anyone truely there for you when you need them. Like i said i hope it works out for you, but don't Blame yourself if he is closeminded, its not your fault, and atleast you had to courage to tell him.