Haven't been on here in awhile. Just came out to my mom. She says she loves me but she's def disappointed. She thinks there might be a chance I could change it, but obviously there's not. My bro and sisters said she would be fine with it but she was a lot more negative than we all thought she She just came in and actually reassured me a lot and made me feel better. Both of us are still freaking out about my dad. He's very old and very foreign and it's def not gonna go over well with him. This one didn't feel good. Normally I feel relief and that "weight has been lifted" nonsense everyone always talks about. She didn't say any of these things, but how she reacted I feel dirty, weak and like I failed at something. This sucks. Stupid thread a few weeks ago asking people if they would be straight if they could. This is why I would. Because coming out fucking sucks and I don't wanna deal with it. Night.
(*hug*) Things will get better. Chances are that since your mom had a good but disappointed reaction, she'll get over the disappointedness eventually. It just takes time. You can also show her the PFLAG website. What you did took a lot of courage. Don't forget that!! I hope you feel better. (*hug*) (*hug*)
you did a good thing. Even though it didnt go as you wish it couldve gone it still takes a lot of courage. im freaked out about telling my mom for the same reason. i think she will be disappointed since im her only guy. So forget about the fact it wasnt good, at least u told and u wont have to hide it from her anymore good job. ill send u a high five..lol.
She probably just needs some time to process it all. I think most parents picture their kid's lives going along in a very typical, expected fashion; they'll finish school, go to university and/or get a job, find someone of the opposite gender, marry, have kids... being gay kind of throws a wrench into those last two items. It's just not something a parents expects to hear, and it is a shock. And, like any other major unexpected event in one's life, it takes some getting used to and can bring out a lot of emotions. Guaranteed, given time, she'll move past the negative emotions, and come to accept it. After all, you're still her son. It just takes some people longer than others.
I'm sorry about your mom being like that. My mom says she's okay with it but she doesn't mention it often. Anyway, don't keep pressing the issue but every now and then try and talk to her about it. The only way she can understand that homosexuality is completely normal is by you educating her on the subject. That being said, if you don't feel that a weight is being lifted then its probably because you're still uncomfortable about not telling your dad. Take your time on the subject--there is never a need to rush on this. From personal experience it took me four years to come out to my stepdad. I always felt like I was trapped within my own house and there was always this weight on your shoulder, even after I came out to my mom and sister but I knew I had to take my time and press on the subject with the utmost of care. Also--you probably already know this but to reassure you that you're not dirty, weak, etc. The uneducated on any topic tend to say things when they do not understand the full situation. We all do it from time to time but its up to you to show her that homosexuality is not the end of the world. Good luck
(*hug*) I'm sorry things didn't go the way you expected. Still, congratulations for coming out to your mom. And, whatever she may feel right now, give her some time to get used to the idea. Maybe you can print for her some PFLAG material, that may help her coming to term with it : http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Publications/Daughters_Sons.pdf Take care (*hug*), Cécile
Thanks for the sympathy. Guess I just gotta move on now. Gonna hold off for awhile before I tell my dad. That's gonna be a shitstorm.
(*hug*) She'll come around eventually. Probably once she realizes its not going to change. I'm sorry though, I went through the same thing. If your mom is anything like mine, she'll accept it soon enough. Good luck for now though. ♥
Just remember - the problem isn't that you're gay. The problem is that your parents are (to varying degrees) unaccepting. You don't "wish you were straight" so much as you wish you didn't have this stress, which wouldn't be there if your parents had a better attitude towards it all. And frankly, a change in attitude in them is far more likely than a change in sexual orientation in you. Still, glad to hear you cleared that hurdle. Lex
