It's been a year. Time for some thank you's

My coming out journey started one year ago yesterday. It was then that I first told my wife that I was gay. In the past year, I've come out to my kids, parents, sister, my in-laws, all of my close friends, and a few trusted co-workers. My wife and I have separated and are in the process of divorcing. Our relationship is better now than it was a year ago. My kids have adjusted well and do not seem to be struggling with it. Every one of my family members and friends have been more than supportive (including my in-laws). All that remains are my other co-workers and people I'd classify more as acquaintances than friends.

I expected the worst when I was telling people. But each time, it was no where near as bad as I had expected. And the best part is, someone I considered to be just a regular friend has turned into one of the most supporting individuals I could ever have in my life. He is there for me when I'm down. He texts me regularly asking how I'm doing and he even changed his schedule one night to bring dinner to me when I was depressed and not eating. I don't think I'd have a close relationship with him if I hadn't come out.

Since I've hit my coming out anniversary, I thought it was time to thank everyone who has helped me with advice and guidance. Knowing that I have a safe place to go to when things get tough has helped tremendously. And a special thank you to a certain moderator (Jim) who has checked up on me over the past year. Your guidance has been especially helpful to me. I look forward to getting through the rest of my coming out process and starting my new, open life. It already feels so good to be free of the closet.

Chris

 

Christmas has gone better than I expected. I've had times where I've been depressed or anxious. Most of that really has nothing to do with the holiday and everything to do with getting used to being single.

Christmas was almost like the past. We were together as a family Christmas Eve in order to go to church and go out for chinese food afterwards. That's been our traditional Christmas Eve for many years. On Christmas morning, I went over to the house early in order to help set up all of the gifts. We spent the day together as we have in the past and I finally went back to my place Christmas night after dinner. It felt different, but not sad. Nobody seemed to be too bothered.

When we celebrated Christmas with my parents and sister, or Cheryl's parents and brother, we were both there as we always have. Nothing really has changed for me because we've tried to keep things stable.

My therapist is working with me to change our holidays going forward. Basically this year, she wanted me to bring food to Cheryl's house like any other guest would for the party. Next year, Cheryl and I will shop for the kids together, but Cheryl will shop for her family and I will shop for mine. She wanted me to have the kids over to my place to help decorate this year, but that didn't ever work out. Too many conflicts.

There will be changes coming in the future, but the core celebration didn't change much this year. Who knows what will happen once I start dating or if Cheryl decides to date. It's something I think about but haven't had to deal with yet.