I had an interesting experience a little while ago at work, there is this mildly homophobic waiter at the restaurant that I work at. He has asked me a few times in the past if I liked men or if I was gay. Today he really went crazy with the questions, the following is basically what started this. Waiter: So are you gay? Me: No... Waiter: Well do you like men? Me: Why do you care? Waiter: I'm curious? Me: What does it matter to you and why are you curious? Waiter: Because I don't know about you anymore and I really want to know. Me: Why do you want to know so badly? Waiter: I don't know what you like any more and I want to know. He left to do something at this point, while he was gone I decided I would tell the truth. I told myself that "if he asks again just say you like both and get it over with, if he says anything tell him to F*** off. If he continues you can tell the chef." I've been trying to be more comfortable with myself and more open. The waiter came back in. Waiter: So do you like men and women Me: *looks him in the eye* yes Waiter: Wow...so why don't you like P***y? P***y is awesome. Me: >.< I like p***y but I also like men He was silent and didn't talk to me for the rest of the shift...which was just fine with me. Near the time we were to go home and came up to me. Waiter: I've thought about it and I have a lot of respect for you now. It must have been really tough for you to be honest. It's great that you are being true to who you are. I'm really proud of you and I know we're going to be better friends because of it. I want you to know I think it's awesome that you are being true to yourself. You can't be happy if you hide such a big part of who you are and I can't believe you were able to. Me: Thanks...? Waiter: *high five* I was really not expecting this, I was normally really quiet and didn't talk much, recently I have been more talkative and open and the waiter told me he's really happy about it and didn't think it was healthy, and that it must be because now I'm being true to myself. He used to be rather homophobic and worried about people thinking he's gay. Now I made a gay joke and bugged him a little and he was a lot more relaxed. I think he realized what it took for me to come out to him and he even said himself that he didn't think he could have in my position. I just thought I would share this story with everyone and show that things can end well.
Good for you for standing up for yourself man. Just from what you said, it sounds to me like the guy might be questioning some things about himself... or is just a closeted gay guy. Be nice to him... it's tough to be closeted and sometimes we say stupid things. He might have been reaching out to you on that. At the very least... people who know gay (or bi or whatever) people overwhelmingly support us. By being a friend to him, there is one less homophobe in the world. Well done
I plan on befriending him, I think he's either a closet case or curious. He has said before he worries about being hit on by gay guys *rolls eyes*. He went so far once as to give me an actual number of the women he has slept with after I made a joke about him being gay. I'm going to be more friendly to him, as well as more open around him. As I was leaving I was leaving today I was talking with the waitress and I showed her a picture of my boyfriend. She said he was really cute, the waiter walked up and asked to see, he wanted to see if I had made a good choice. He looked at the picture and said that my boyfriend looked nice. I will wait and see if he says anything more on the subject, if he asks me anything I will answer honestly.
Around 27, he asked how my boyfriend and I keep in touch and I said we cam. He asked what we did on cam, I said we talked most of the time. He asked what we did the rest of the time, told him I would leave that up to his imagination.
Lol I do believe I've been telling you since you told me about him that he's prolly a closet case himself, but nonetheless I'm extremely proud of you sweetie ^^
Thanks Evernight and thanks Sicsemper, we'll have to see what he does. I will keep everyone posted if he does anything else that is suspicious.
I would give it 95% that he's a closet poofter. Perhaps in saying what he said to you, he's cracking the door open. Maybe as you talk to him more you can casually mention EC and how helpful it's been for you and maybe he'll take the hint
I think he might be, I might tell him that if there is anything he wanted to ask me about it that he can. Might also mention that a certain website helped me a lot.
I have this situation in my college too. One of them in the different engineering faculty had apparently not *seen* a non-straight in the campus. Again, he sorta admired me for "studying" and reading engineering stuff during even my semester breaks.
Glad to see my gaydar wasn't the only one that was screaming 'closet-case' after reading this. Sounds like something I would have done when I was still deep in the closet. More importantly though, congrats on being honest with him and helping him understand that LGBTs are real people. Whether he is gay or not, you being open and honest seems to have helped this guy become more comfortable with people who aren't straight. Congrats on having a positive impact .
