There sure are a lot of gay guys in theatre, right? My freshman year I participated in OneAct (Theatre contest between schools) and had a huge revelation half way through the time it took for us to perform(2 months) and I'll refer to the play we did as: "Stage." I realized I had a crush on the only gay guy in our group and after awhile directly asked him about being gay. He wasn't surprised. He was already in a relationship, so I just asked him a bunch of questions occasionally. When I felt incredibly sure of myself, I decided to tell my mom. She went and bought the movie version of "Stage" just because I was in that play. While we were watching it I asked her how she would feel if I was bi. She said she would be sad. I said I think I am(saying bi because then I can still take it back). She sat their for a moment and then asked: "Do you realize what that means?" I said yes. She then asked: "You like... boys?" I repeated, yes. She said I couldn't be repeatedly to herself. Already seeing how badly this was working out I left the room and cried into my pillow. She then later came in and told me she loved me and walked out. The next day she picked me up from school and said that our family needed counsiling. She listed a bunch of 'explanations' for why I would think I was gay, such as: "Pressure, be picked on(which I wasn't), or that I had I hadn't seen my father in years(I was acting feminine when he was still aroundK), and basically she was in denial. I alone went to see a church counselor. A CHURCH counselor. I stopped going to counciling and have decided never to bring it up to her until I'm 25 and bring a significant other home on Thanksgiving. A week after I had told her, I already admitted it at school. Thankfully no one at my school cares of enough, or they consider too nice to hate me(Yay yearbook polls!) so I have been really lucky and certainly can't complain. Typing this really does make me feel better though. PS: I still have never finished that movie.
I'm sorry that your mother reacted that way. From your post, it sounds like it didn't impact your confidence too badly, as you are out at school. I'll say this: when I first told my parents, they didn't exactly react well. Reference was once made to 'professional help', and my dad seemed to think the best thing to do was to tell nobody else, ever. But they've come round. It seems that a lot of parents come round, more or less, sooner or later. So hold on to that thought. You might have to wait until you're away from home/financially independent, which could mean after finishing college, but eventually you'll be free to tell her again, and she'd get used to it. Until then, EC is a great place to talk or just to read other posts.
Sorry to hear about your mom's reaction, but don't think that it is a lost case Like the person above said, many parents come around and your mom might, too. My mom had a horrible reaction when I first told her, but has been getting better as time goes by. You also have to remember that many parents think you can't be gay when you are that young, which is completely wrong, but your age might also have her in denial. Just keep on living your life and make sure you are living it for yourself and not for anyone else. Your mom will catch up to you eventually Glad you are getting a good reaction at school.
I was the president of the theatre at VMI.... for those who don't know what VMI is... look it up . I am sorry your mom reacted poorly, but it sounds like you have a very good head on your shoulders and you will survive this. Have good friends and work hard. It also sounds like you are lucky to go to an accepting school. Thats a great thing. Welcome to EC bud! Keep your head up, this is going to be ok!
First thing, welcome to EC. Second thing, (*hug*) I am sorry about the way your mom reacted. But there is one important thing, the told you she loves you, and that is really really important because that means she'll be able to come to terms with your sexuality. Give her some time and be patient. This is a link to a Pflag booklet that could be helpful for her : http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Publications/Daughters_Sons.pdf And that is a link to a Pflag booklet that could be helpful for you : http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Publications/Be_Yourself.pdf I hope things are going to get better with your mum. See you around and take care, (*hug*) Cécile
Wow, thank you very much. It's kind of neat how this forum is one of the few that rarely has hate messages. That's a great thought. Thank's for welcoming me, and I'm gonna stick with the Thanksgiving plan:icon_wink for when I confess. Again, thank you!
Wait, there's a *theater* group at VMI? How incredibly...... gay So were there a bunch of closeted poofters there? But to be on topic to Jeffanboy, your mother's response is classic denial. The normal stages that anyone going through any sort of loss experiences are denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. The fact that she told you she loves you is a great step, and probably means she realizes that her response was a crappy one. I suggest you get "Prayers for Bobby" and watch it with your mom. $3 from itunes. A very powerful and well done film, based on a true story. It's very helpful to parents who try to change their children through therapy or counseling or prayer or what have you. And... don't wait till you're 25 to bring it up again. She already sounds like she is trying to make sense of it. Give it some time, maybe watch the movie, and i think you'll see a different response pretty quickly.
Its good that you have some real support at school. Its just too bad your mum reacted in that way. I think that almost all parents have some sort of level of denial but, at the end of the day, they just need to come around to the fact that you know your sexuality better than they do.
