Ok, so I've been out to most of my friends and older brother for about 2 years now (in January) and I've been out to my mom for a little under a year. A few weeks ago my older brother told me that he was gay. I wasn't too surprised and obviously I'm not upset or anything (lol) but now I'm a little stumped about how to tell our parents. When I told my mom about me, she turned to me and asked "when you decide to tell your dad, can you tell us together?" She said that when I told them, that she would act surprised because my dad hates to be the last person to know something important (side-note: he's moderately traditional/conservative so I don't know how he's gonna handle it). My brother told me that he would like to tell them sometime in January or early February after he gets settled into his new place. I don't mind that because I'll love to not have to lie to them anymore about it, but I'm just not sure how exactly we should tell them. Would it be better for me and my brother to tell my mom and dad at the same time or would be it better to tell them separately (my bro. tell my mom and dad and then later I tell my mom and dad or vice versa)? I know this is probably pretty confusing but I would love to get some help trying to figure this out. If you don't understand something let me know. Thank you. :eusa_doh: ---------- Post added 15th Dec 2010 at 01:39 PM ---------- Ahh...this was supposed to be somewhere else! How can I change that?
Hi Sakura Well in your situation i think it could be best if you both (or you with his permission) have another quiet word with your mom and get her opinion on a double coming out.This could also give you a chance to see if you can find out what her reaction will be when she acts surprsed,will she defend you and maybe try to win your dad over if needed. Doing this together should make it a little easier for you,with each other for moral support,but it will be alot for your dad to take in if he sees it in a negative way so your moms opinion could be helpfull. Good luck to both of you
If I was in that situation, I'd see it as an opportunity if your brother would like to tell your parents with you. You and your brother should talk to your mom together. He comes out to her with you there or on his own if he'd rather. He could tell her that you and he would like to talk to them together for the full coming out. Now the only bad part of this scenerio is if your dad really hates being the last to know and he suspects/finds out that he was in this case, then he might be pretty mad. If that is the case, he should get over it when you explain the situation and how your closeness to your mom led you to come out to her and then everything else followed. Also tell him that you felt cautious talking to him due to his conservative nature. That should temper his conservatism a bit and help him realize that being gay is not a choice nor is it taught since he would never teach his kids such a thing and he didn't cause your sexuality. Best wishes to you and your family
