I suck.

You had the perfect chance to come out right there. I would say it would be best to just come clean to your parents as soon as you can... but then again, I can't talk either so eh.

 

No worries. You're just not ready yet. Give it some time, you will be able to answer YES! eventually

On the bright side, seems like your dad would be okay with you being gay. He seems to be a bit pushy though

 

You're dwelling in internal homophobia. By doing so, you're missing the valuable opportunity to give your parents an understanding of you and your situation. I'd suggest you get over it and start being honest with them instead of rejecting their responses to your blatant cries for help.

 

also, letting your father in with this sort of understanding thing may actually help a lot. As mirko said, letting your dad know what you're going through, or at least let him know that it has to do with sexuality and confusion - at least he'd be someone to talk to about it. You don't have to tell him that you know, but let him know that your confused is just as good - plus it keeps him from worrying about what could be (and isn't).

 

It's almost finished, I'm just working on stabilizing it and reducing the side effects. No, but really though, if you weren't ready to tell them you weren't ready to tell them. You don't suck because of it. It's easy to picture how it will go and then absolutely freezing under pressure in the moment.

 

you have to come out on your own terms.

 

I've lied to my mom when she asked me before, so you arent alone, and you say "I suck" like its a bad thing =P. But seriously, you have to learn to accept who you are first, then once u get comfortable with yourself, you will find it a little easier to tell whoever it is you want to tell. You will feel better when you feel better about yourself first. *hugs*

 

I'm just going to focus on this. My parents for one. Many other people's parents. And from the looks of it, your own too. And I don't mean they'd have specifically planned to have a gay child, but they can be just as happy about it when they realize that's what you are.

What makes you assume your parents are lying here?

 

You're obviously not ready to come out to them, and that's ok. It doesn't mean you suck.

What i would say, is don't be so quick to assume your dad would have a problem with you being gay. It sounds like your parents were a bit pushy with you and probably could have been more tactful but it doesn't sound like they're homophobic and they seem concerned about you.

Try to keep that in mind when you do feel like you might be ready to tell them.

 

You don't need a straight pill. (Sorry, ECers, Lex is pulling out the house analogy again.)

Let's say you're standard height. Six feet tall or so. And say you're living in a house built for people three feet tall. You have to walk along the hallway bent over double, and the shower is impossible to use, and you have to curl into fetal position to get into bed. You might start thinking "If only I weren't so tall, things would be so much better."

Your problem isn't that you're too tall.
The problem is that you're in the wrong house.

Similarly, your problem isn't not-being-straight.
It's that you're living in denial (with your parents).

What parent wants a gay child? Perhaps not many. Not because they're sickened by the idea, but mainly because every parents wants their child's path to be as smooth and simple as possible. And they look at homosexuality as an extremely bumpy path ahead. Many parents - mine included - worried about me when I came out. But they soon realized that I am what I am, and denying that would make the path much tougher than simply accepting it and continuing on. My parents don't love me despite the fact that I'm gay - they love me completely, including the gay part. And they love my partner as well.

As suggested above, keeping working on yourself. Eventually, you'll be comfortable enough with it that you'll want to come out on your own.

Lex

 

^^ what everyone else posted. As a parent, you love your kids. You worry about them, and you want to help them whenever they are in pain. Yes kids can dissapoint you, but everyone does at some point or another, that's not the point. The point is that they love you. Your dad has broached the topic of you being gay, he must at some level suspect it and is striving to be okay with it, even to the extent of telling you it would be okay if you were. Yes there is initial shock of exposure, but after that, its back to family life like normal (with a little twist).

 

It's all right if you don't want to come out yet. You've got to do that your way. I have no intention to come out to my parents soon. Only, if they'd ask me, I don't think I would lie.

 

You'll get there Zontar. It's a part of who you are, and at least you know once you get past the inner homophobia, your parents will accept you and that speaks volumes. I know you said "who wants a gay kid?" and while many parents don't necessarily want a gay kid, at least your parents are fine with it and that is huge.

 

C'mon, don't beat yourself up about this. So you're not ready to say yes to your dad's question. Maybe it was the way he said it and your shock that he asked and the mood you were in and not being ready. It seems like he will be ok with a gay son so that's cool. I used to dread the thought of anyone asking me that and still do unless it would be just one person in a private place and the question is asked with respect and concern. No one in my family has asked me, but I kinda wish they would in the way I described.
I hope you can make the progress you want

 

I lied when my mom asked me if I was a lesbian in college and I said no. 'Course it's not totally a lie since I'm transgendered and not a lesbian, per se...but my mom opened the conversation and I totally shot her down; a lie by omission is still a lie. So I feel you on that - you're not the only one who has lied about the Big Question. It doesn't mean you suck.

But your parents sound extremely accepting though, I'd just come out with it if I were you. :newcolor:

 

I think your parents might know already.

But, either way you need to do this on your own terms. I am no expert. But when I was ready to tell them. I KNEW I was ready to tell them. Don't get me wrong it was nerve-racking as hell, but I knew I wanted to do it and do it soon. You need to accept yourself first to get yourself to that place.

It sounds like you have pretty cool parents though. You're a lucky guy, and I think they deserve the benefit of the doubt!