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Married...FINALLY out to my wife

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by straal1972, Jan 9, 2011.

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  1. straal1972

    straal1972
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    Hi all, heres the next chapter of my coming out saga. I had decided before xmas that I would come out to my wife on saturday (yesterday). To that end I wrote her a letter which I was going to read to her. I posted it on my blog for everyones viewing.
    We had dropped off the kids at my sisters house the night before to have a weekend sleepover so that my wife and I could have some time alone. She was extremely worried at that, 'cus I forgot to mention to her that I was ready to talk about my depression and problems/issues with her. But we did clear that up on the drive home friday night.

    Anyway, we watched colorsplash with David Bromstad (what a hottie) and he was re-doing a living space for a young gay couple. Which I thought boded well, so once it was done I asked my wife to turn off the TV, turn on some light music, got a box of tissues and my letter and sat down.

    I started by telling her that what I was going to tell her was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life so far and I was extremely nervous. It took a couple of deep breaths and a tissue before I started. I tried hard not to cry as I read my letter to her. I kept telling myself inside to stay strong if for nothing else, but to help her to process what was coming. I'm proud of myself for staying as 'together' as I could. When i got to the end there was dead silence... for what seemed like ages... I couldn't look at my wife I just stared dumbly at my hands wanting her to say something, react someway, i really didn't care which way. After what seemed like hours she finally said
    "I don't want to hurt you, but I always thought you were. I just didn't know how to tell you without hurting you!":eusa_doh::slight_smile::kiss:

    We then had a six+ hour long conversation. We cried, we laughed, we shared, we pointed out all the "GAY" things I've done over the years, we told each other we still loved one another, we said we didn't need to plan anything, we planned stuff, we cried some more, we upheld eachother, i promised not to abandon her, she wants me to be happy (finally), we resolved to be best of friends. BFFs

    In all my fantasies about coming out to her, this was the best possible outcome that I never imagined. I am so glad that I did, my heart feels so much lighter. I feel more love for her now then I have in so long a time. Thank you everyone at EC for supporting me these last 2 months and encouraging me. Without you all, I would never have had the courage to do what I did. (&&&):kiss:
     
    #1 straal1972, Jan 9, 2011
  2. maverick

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    So many congratulations Straal, I'm glad that she took it better than you ever could have hoped! That is the best outcome I possibly could have imagined for you, your happiness makes me happy. :grin:
     
    #2 maverick, Jan 9, 2011
  3. Eleanor Rigby

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    This is absolutly fantastic (*hug*). Congratulations for coming out to your wife, I can't even imagine how much courage it takes to do such a thing (*hug*). And I am very glad for you that she is such an oustanding human being.
    You can be very proud of you for what you achieved in just a few weeks. I imagine you're still going to have to face difficult moments, but I think you have done the hardest part of your journey.
    Many many (*hug*), Cécile
     
    #3 Eleanor Rigby, Jan 9, 2011
  4. blankpaper

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    WOW! Congratulations that was very brave of you :eusa_clap and props to your wife! That is the best coming out story I've ever heard and I'm glad everything turned out well (*hug*) It's all onward and upward from here!
     
    #4 blankpaper, Jan 9, 2011
  5. Nat3

    Nat3 Guest

    Congratulations!!
    That is a truly wonderful wife you have there.=)
    I hope your future seems better, but it already looks clear as you have feed yourself from one of the burdens that held you.xD
     
    #5 Nat3, Jan 9, 2011
  6. Connor22

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    wooooww nice one son :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Connor22, Jan 9, 2011
  7. Jay

    Jay
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    Congrats all over the place!!! :slight_smile:
     
    #7 Jay, Jan 9, 2011
  8. Beertruck

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    That's fantastic news, congrats!!!
     
    #8 Beertruck, Jan 9, 2011
  9. ToTheCeilingFan

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    Omigosh dude you should be so proud of yourself! I'm crazy proud of you and I don't even know you. :wink: You've made a huge step and I commend you for you bravery. <3
     
    #9 ToTheCeilingFan, Jan 9, 2011
  10. EM68

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    Congrats on coming out to your wife. It was very important that she knows that you will not abandon her. It is important that during the next few days and weeks she know that too. Eventhough she took it well last night, she is going to go through her own coming out process.
     
    #10 EM68, Jan 9, 2011
  11. straal1972

    straal1972
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    How right you are. Yes she gave me the best possible coming out that I could have had. But today....she's shell shocked and really sad. I know exactly how she's feeling as I was the same way a couple of months ago. I let her know that I'm there for her. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

    Thanks to everyone.
     
    #11 straal1972, Jan 9, 2011
  12. EM68

    EM68
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    (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

    She is going to have these ups and downs. Probably simular to what you went through.
     
    #12 EM68, Jan 9, 2011
  13. straal1972

    straal1972
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    Yes, I had to keep reminding myself of that. I'm currently feeling the way she did when I was really depressed back in november.
     
    #13 straal1972, Jan 9, 2011
  14. Revan

    Revan
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    I'm very happy that she knew. It kind of makes it that little bit easier.
     
    #14 Revan, Jan 9, 2011
  15. TheEdend

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    Congrats! Really happy for you :slight_smile:
     
    #15 TheEdend, Jan 9, 2011
  16. Almostthere

    Almostthere
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    Well done! I too came out to my wife yesterday!! Very similar story to you, she took it really well but I know there will be a lot of ups and downs to come and discussions about the future. I have reassured her that I'm going to stick around and still be there for each other.

    Certainly feels great though doesn't it? Like a black cloud has moved away, no need to hide and lie any more. xx
     
    #16 Almostthere, Jan 10, 2011
  17. Gerry

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    What a great outcome! I'm so happy for you that things turned out as great as possible! :thumbsup:
     
    #17 Gerry, Jan 10, 2011
  18. nickmc

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    Omgosh! Congratulations on such a big step! :eusa_clap I'm so proud of you. I actually teared up a little when reading your coming out story, first to your brother and now to your wife. I'm amazed at how far you've come since joining EC but thanks for sharing your story (*hug*)
     
    #18 nickmc, Jan 10, 2011
  19. straal1972

    straal1972
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    Yes, we were even able to laugh at some of my manerisms through the years that now are so obviously GAY.
     
    #19 straal1972, Jan 10, 2011
  20. mnguy

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    Congratulations!! You were amazing! :eusa_danc I'm so glad that she took this well and you came out of it feeling so good. Best wishes to you and your family in the years to come. :thumbsup:
     
    #20 mnguy, Jan 10, 2011
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