Whew, it has been a while since I've been able to post. Well, let's say after a hairy, un-gay-related situation, I left my house right after school started (Aug. 17th). I came out to my best friend and her family Aug 9th, and now I'm currently living with them. I'm emailing my mom, or I was, but I got fussy with her because she was lying and I caught her at it. Anyway, she hasn't emailed me back in over a week. She's been really hateful, and keeps saying she wants me to come back, but just acts totally opposite. Well, anyway, back to coming out. So, I was about to get off of work (Wal-mart), and I was sitting, starring at the fish, while a co-worker told me about some chick he slept with over-and-over. I guess my lack of enthusiasm showed, because then he asked me, "You're sure you're not gay?" Since right now I'm feeling the cliched "Tired of lying" feeling, I decided to tell him. It was funny. He was just like, "I thought so. I'm fine with it, as long as you don't act gay or whatever." Stupid choice for the next person to come out to I guess, but it was Oct. 11th, and I just wanted to tell somebody. Oddly enough, the next day at lunch, my other best friend Tara, (jokingly, I think) asked is I was gay. I couldn't say it, so I just sat there and smiled. She got the hint, and later she was like, "you should have told me sooner." Since then, she has made me feel pretty good about it. She calls herself the "Floodgate" because next I plan to start telling people left and right. That was Friday. So then on Sunday, as I'm waiting for my ride to pick me up, my twin-brother (fraternal) sits down next to me with his friends and just starts talking about nothing. Then, after a few minutes, he said "What did you tell Tyler the other day." I couldn't say it again, so I went for my smile technique. Then he was like, "You'd better say something, because I feel like I need to get away from you." (Ouch.) Anyway, after a couple "Are you serious!?"s, he settled down and asked the typical, "How long have you known? Have you done anything? Blah, blah." One of his friends was still there and was just kind of unaffected. He said his mom had had gay friends around all the time, so he didn't care. Then I told my other co-worker, and absolutely nothing has changed. She has like 3 gay friends already, so it was fine. I've been lucky to have good experiences so far, but next I need to email my little sister (she goes to the same school) and my big sister (lives 30 minutes away) to tell them. I just don't want them to tell my mom yet. I still have clothes and personal belongings at the house that she packed up and into boxes the first weekend after I left. She refuses to drive them over to the house I'm staying at, just because she thinks it's unfair to her. I now I need to tell her, too. There's a possibility, even if I tell my older sister not to, she might tell my mom. I'm scared because my mom tends to get all religious at moments when she feels she needs to talk trash about people (she hasn't been to church in years, and cusses more than a sailor, parties at bars with her intolerant husband (now, my step-father, I guess.) What should I do first, start coming out to friends at school, or email my sisters? I can't imagine them having bad reactions. I just really want a boyfriend or to date (or hell, just to be out will make me feel tons better), and that's hard to do when you don't have friends to let you know who's gay, or friends that are trying to hook you up. Just letting people know how it's going for me and looking for some advice. Free hugs to all that comment! (*hug*) Thanks guys
I get the feeling that you really want to tell your sisters, that you would like to tell your friends but the need is greater for you to tell your sisters. You could start by telling them you want to tell them something confidential and that, considering the poor relationship you have with your mother, you would be grateful if they would keep what you have to say to themselves until you feel ready to talk to your mother about it. Once they have e mailed you back in agreement with you that what you say is confidential and there is no point making matters worse between your mum and you that would probably be the moment to tell them. Your sisters should respect your right to privacy and to handle this situation as you see fit. The more friends you tell, who have a positive reaction of course, the happier you will feel and the more support you will have with dealing with your family. What has your best friend's family said about this? They are probably in a good position to give you advice and support. You're doing really good, keep going we're right here behind you all the way (&&&)
yeh louise said it all perfectly, well she said what i wanted to, u shud tell ur sister first but make sure she wont tell ur mum and get it across to her tht u will tell ur mum when it suits you, and no sooner. ur friends at school shudn't mind the fact ur gay, u already know ur 2 best friends are fine with it, aswell as ur bro and his friends or atleast afew of em so there wont be any hassle from them. if ur friends do mind the fact tht ur gay then dont try to make em come round and see you are the same as always, if they cant get over the fact ur gay by themselves then there not wrth havin as friends tbh. hopefully, and more than likely tht wont happen tho. ive only ever had one person deicde not to like me because im gay in the 5.6 years ive been out =] and ur mum bein religious when it suits her well if she does tht just think u aint at home atm, if she doesnt like it then she will have time 2 see her mistake. and ur best friends family they mite be able 2 help u aswell with tht if things dont go all that well, if parents hear tht its perfectly fine off sum other parents then they usually start to believe it. and about wantin to get a bf and go on dates and all tht gd for u =] (it dus feel amazin 2 have 1 btw)
I think you should come out to everyone you feel comfortable with knowing that you're gay. If you think your friends and sisters will accept it, go for it. But, I think if you want your sisters to really get the message that you don't want your mother to know right now, you should tell them in person. I know that when I was coming out to my family there were certain people I didn't want to know that I was gay, and I sat down individually with each person I told in my family and let them know they couldn't tell certain people.
Welll, I think you can come out to your friends, I can see they are nice to you and even support you, so if you feel comfortable with any of your friend, come out to them , you'll see how easy it is once lots of your friends know you are gay, and they can suppot you, and can also protect you Once you come out in a group, u feel good, comfortable, and proud of yourself, but make sure dont tell who you dont trust, or a squealer, like I did, they'll mess you up If there are friends who dont like you anymore, which sldo hsppened to me, then dont csre sbout them, cuz they are not your friends anyway, you still have your co-wokers in Wal-Mart and soem friends at school Like you said, everytime you came out, you feel so great, so yeah, you are doing a great job, so yeah, let the gate open, now you go go. It'll benefit you cuz people know you are gay, they will come to you, and your friends who know gay friends will introduce you to them, you have a more open life Then if you think it is the right time, coime out to your sister, but tell them if you dont want your mom to know this, and whne you are brave enough, which i know you are, come out to your mom Once you have came out, there's nothing that can stop you Im glad that thinsg been going great for you , now hopefully that is the good sign and a strong boost for your comming out process, good luck, Jayden
