Been out since summer '09 and couldn't be happier :)

Background: 22, gay male, small-town Atlantic Canadian, Roman Catholic family.

Around the start of the summer in 2009 I watched Shelter... not sure if you've heard of it but it's an amazing movie of a young guy struggling to come into his own, and trying not to fall in love with the guy of his dreams. Anyway, after seeing it, everything that I'd been trying to hide for years just kind of started coming up, and I got really sad and found it hard to do anything at all. I was always terrified of what tomorrow might bring.

Eventually, still early in the summer, everything just became too much and I got really scared of what I might do to myself. I managed to call one of my best and most trusted friends and just cried and blurted it all out. She talked to me for a good hour, telling me how amazing it is that I was finally deciding to accept myself, and that life would get so much better for me. That phone call was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and that friend is one of the most important and valued people in my life now, because she convinced me that being myself was okay and that the world wouldn't decide to hang me.

That gave me the courage to talk to a few other VERY close friends over the next month or two, some in person, some through letters, some over facebook. Eventually, thanks to everyone being so positive, I was able to start seeing a guy (who was hardly out at all), and we really hit it off. We knew pretty quickly that we'd be serious, and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to hide what I felt for him from the people around me.

After a month or two of us dating and getting really close, towards the end of the summer, I was outside my parents' house barbequing and asked my mom to come out. I was so nervous, but I knew that I HAD to tell her who I am because I wouldn't be happy otherwise. So I blurted it out... I just said "Well, you know that guy that I've been hanging out with? I'm actually seeing him." She went back inside without saying anything, I went up to a bedroom and started crying and sobbing and wishing I hadn't told her, and a half hour later she came up, hugged me, and apologised for the way she reacted. She asked me how long I'd known that I'm gay, and said it would take her quite a while to adjust to it. I was kind of shocked because I thought that she would have suspected it... I'm not exactly a typical young straight jock. Then she hugged me again and said "I'm not telling your father!" and "don't get AIDS!" ... my mother, always the charmer.

It took me a couple weeks to settle my nerves, and I kept trying to tell dad for over a month every time he was around. I realised that I wasn't going to be able to say it to his face, so I wrote him a letter and left it in his truck. We never spoke about it, but I know he read it and now he keeps telling me how proud he is of me and how much he loves me. I know the whole "gay" thing makes him uncomfortable, and mom too, but he asks how my bf and I are doing every now and then, and I couldn't ask for anything else.

So now all my friends know, it's not a secret in this smalltown anymore, and even most of my cousins know too. My parents' friends know because I ended up on the front page of our newspaper standing on a float in the Pride Parade this summer. I don't know about my aunt and uncles who aren't from here, but I'm sure that word will spread soon if it hasn't already.

It's been a LONG and draining experience, but I wouldn't have changed anything. I was lucky - everyone was accepting, loving, encouraging, and honest with me. I think that I've managed to help one or two people through similar situations, and that's why I joined this site. I want to be that same helpful, encouraging voice that my friend on the phone was for me a while back.

It gets better. That's all I can say.

I went from being a closeted, terrified, denying boy, who was always nervous that someone would figure me out, to the happy and positive person I am today. Happy with my boyfriend of a year and a half who I love more than anything. I love who I am, and I'm always excited to see what tomorrow brings.

 

i Came out to my family long before i came out to everybody else i came out to my auntie who is the most important person in my life on The channel islands Liberation Day <---- irony alert anyway i came out to everyone else after that and the weight off my shoulders was amazing i could be myself around my peers instead of a completely different persona i put on to be accepted .... But now tbh i have more friends since i came out then before ! and the freedom to be yourself after you come out is really something to be admired am i right ?