So, from Summer '09 I began coming out. To myself, then to all my friends, then I waited for a while before coming out to my older sister and, finally, my mum and step-dad. All went well. My mum, although loving and supportive, isn't too "clued up" on the whole thing and can ask awkward questions. But at least she's asking, right? I've had it easy. I've benefitted from a coming out that offered me release and freedom but also let me keep those friends and family who I love. Nothing had changed. But there is still one more person to tell: my Dad. A little background on my Dad...I rarely see him. I saw him about three times last year and one of those times was him sponging £60 out of me for booze. He and my mum split up a LONG time ago, when I was about five, and ever since I've had a "relationship" with him because, well, he's blood related. It's all very strained and I believe the love goes a lot more one way than he thinks it does. His family are very old fashioned and ignorant when it comes to things such as homosexuality and people who aren't like them. For example, I rarely drink alcohol, and so I'm seen as strange for not guzzling down the pints one after the other. Another thing is I hate football and when my uncle asked me what team I support, I told him I didn't support any team because I don't like the sport. He scoffed and said: "You're not a real man unless you like football". I laughed, thinking he was joking. He wasn't joking. So I walked away thinking what an asshat he was. A few years ago, I was moving to Canada and me and my mum went to tell him I'd be moving away forever and wouldn't probably see him again, or at least, very very rarely. His words? "Oh...right, thank God! I thought you were telling me you were gay". So my Dad, who would rather never see me again than me be gay, is the last person to tell. Fantastic(!). Thing is, I don't care how he reacts, or his family. I honestly couldn't give a crap, but i worry about the effect this will have on my older sister. If my Dad takes it badly, the likelihood is that he will get drunk and end up calling her and she doesn't deserve drunken phonecalls at 3am. Another thing is that she is getting married in August and I don't want there to be any friction. I've spoken to my sister and she's suggested not telling him until I "need" to. As in, when I have a boyfriend. But as i also like girls, I'm wondering how long that will be. What if I have girlfriends and then no boyfriend until 10 years. Am I really supposed to come out to him when I'm 32 when I had the chance 10 years previous? It's frustrating because he is the only person I'm not worried about telling, but it's just getting around to telling him is taking so long.
If you're not going to see him for a long time and you dont really get on well with him, I dont see the rush. I understand that you want to be open and everything but you dont have to alter your behaviour at all seeing as you are living far away from him. Tell him after the wedding ,at some point, to avoid spoiling your sisters wedding day.
I agree with this. If you don't care, then what does it matter if you tell him or not? Just tell him you're bisexual, and that you just wanted him to know. The admission will result in your acceptance or rejection, but you may as well tell him because you're not emotionally attached to him - his reaction could be either and it won't really change your relationship that much. So just let your sister do her thing, then get it over with and keep having a kickass life.
