So I am just starting to come out to my family that I am bisexual. This weekend is one of the very few that all my immediate family will be together, since my brother goes to University way far away and my dad has recently moved to another state. But now we're all together for 4 days. Originally I had no plans to tell them right now, but then I thought again and how this is rare to get all four of us in one house, so I decided to go for it. Last night I came out to my brother while we were alone and it went pretty much as I expected. My brother is a man a few words and pretty much responded as "Oh...so are you sure?" After answering a few of his questions there was a long, silent pause and we both said "Well....this is awkward" and then we laughed. However, afterword I was expecting to feel great and free and open and all those other joyous feelings, but instead I felt worried and a little confused. I'm confident in my sexual orientation, but somehow saying it out loud, it felt so uncomfortable. Then this morning I got up, had my shower, came directly down to my mom and said "Hey mom I need to tell you something..." I knew my mom would be supportive and caring for me, but I was way more nervous with her than I was with my brother. My mom is openly pro-gay marriage since we go to a very liberal church with quite a few gay couples, so I really had no reason to be so terrified, but I was nonetheless. I managed to keep it together for about 30 seconds before I started breaking down crying. It wasn't that I was scared, I think it was just a huge flood of emotion that has been bottled up for so many years. But the mood went back to its normal self when my excessive crying led to my nose dripping all over the place and we both starting cracking up. Last night I had told myself that I would come out to all three of them individually by myself, but when my mom offered to tell my dad for me, I jumped at the idea. I don't think my dad would be as comfortable if I broke down again and starting dripping boogers on him. Although I think he will be just as fine with it. He seldom ever gets angry and he's just as liberal as my mom. All in all, it was nothing that I had expected. It was kind of a disaster thinking back on it, but at least it's out. Both my mom and my brother asked me how I was so sure that I liked boys if I had never experimented with them, but I just responded by telling them that I plan to be completely open in university and that's where I'll decide where my true feelings lie. But other than my immediate family, I don't think I'll bother telling my high school friends, let alone my girlfriend. I really just want to finish up my senior year with my friend group intact and then change over the summer. I don't think it's worth it to tear my friends apart if I'm only going to be spending 4 more months with them and then probably never see most of them again. Quite a few of them are homophobic and that would just be a gigantic mess. My mom also told me not to tell my extended family about this until I had gone out with boys and made sure because, like my friends, a few members have some backwards ideas. I'm hoping that this all works out, I don't know. Any suggestions?
Congratulations on coming out to your family I guess it is a good idea for school to finish because you aren't going to see all those friends again, but you could tell a bestfriend. I agree with your mom to maybe wait to come out to those extended relatives if they are homophobic as to not regret it later, I wish you all the best
Hey so I just wanted to post an update. My mom told my dad for me this morning and then he came to talk to me. He actually reacted really well, he just told me that he loved me whichever side I chose and that this doesn't change anything. He seemed quite happy for me, which wasn't expected, but hey I'll take it! Things still seem a little awkward between me and my brother, but I'm confident that'll pass. My mom is still happy for me too. I'm so relieved that I'm out to them. My mind was going to explode if I didn't tell anyone soon. But they all seem comforatable with me exploring my sexuality and being open with it. This truly is the best case scenario!
Congrats! the booger part was pretty funny especially because I know that I will end up crying when I tell my mom too and im excited for you as you go to college!
Congratulations! It's wonderful to have family support. Are you really going to just not bother telling your girlfriend at all? Are the two of you already planning on breaking up when you go away to school? If not, it's probably nicer if you tell her the honest reason when you break up with her. Otherwise, she might drive herself crazy trying to figure it out. Also, given the circumstances, keep in mind that she may be a lot more emotionally involved than you are. Also, there's no reason to assume that you won't see your high school friends again, unless that's how you want it. I am still friends with some of my friends from high school, and we hang out once or twice a week usually. (Meanwhile, I'm barely in contact with anyone from college.) You know your friends better than me, but it's possible you underestimate them. You also have the option of telling them right at the end, rather than right away. Whatever you decide though, good luck in going to college!
The reason I said that me and my girlfriend will probably break up and I probably won't see most of my friends again is because right now I live in the States, but for university I'm moving to Canada. I mean, it is possible to that I'll travel down for a visit, but it won't be like I'll come down every weekend. I really do not see a long distance relationship working, especially at this age, so I've kind of come to terms with it having an expiring date.
