Rollercoaster of Life - My story

Hey everyone, I haven't posted in a while, doing tons of stuff for school as well as just getting by. I just wanted to share my story for all of you who are thinking of coming out or who have started and possible regret it like I did.

So where to start. Last summer I finally decided to come out to my totally awesome best friend. This was the best place to start for all of you wondering out there, for me at least. After that he was totally cool with it and is now my number 1 resource for my problems. After that, I slowly stated coming out to my closest friends, when there was an opportunity or it just felt right. Don't worry about waiting for that moment either - creating your own moment can have the same effects. I had told about 3 people in the span of 2 months. I was slowly but surely making my way to being confident and myself. During the first little bit, in all honesty, I regretted it at the time. Telling my best friend that summer, it was like preforming open heart surgery on myself; the awful pit-of-your-gut feeling was ever present. Some of you might feel this way, but believe me, just like all those videos said, it does get better. and easier too. At this point, once I was out to 3 friends, I finally understood that I didn't have to live my life alone with only myself as a councillor and confidant. People loved me for who I was still, and they will for you too.

Now comes the part that everyone dreads. The parents. Now, my parents aren't horrible to me; I'm not living with Hitler or Hitler's female counterpart. However, in all honesty my home life is far from perfect. Both of my parents have temperaments and I was never sure how they would react to me. Now, if your wondering why I'm telling you this, its for background so you can infer your own experiences or extrapolate your situation based on what happened to me. One day, my parents and I had a huge blow-out, leading to my brother leaving the house for a while (<1 day) and unfortunately, me using my sexuality as leverage in the debate. I wrote them a letter and threw it in there room, and ran downstairs into the bathroom. I almost vomited, but luckily I kept my composure (for no one but myself). It felt like an eternity and 10 seconds at the same time before my mother came downstairs and knocked on the door. She hugged me and told me that she'll love me and be proud of me no matter what. Not fond of touchy-feely parent moments myself, I went up to my room for a bit. Still no word from father. In about 30 minutes, he walked into my room, gave me a hug and left. Now I wish I had the perfect loose-end tying fairytale ending to the parent situation, but to this day my father and I are no closer than we were before. Now, this isn't meant to discourage you, but rather to show you: no matter what happens, as long as you love yourself, others will too. some may need time, but as long as youre confident, thats all you need.

Now, I know you didn't come to read a novel, so I'll try my best to condense the next 6 months. Basically I came out to a total of 15 of my closest friends. Most took it extremely well (not being stereotypical but it was mostly warm female reception). One guy I told kinda was like wtf but we worked around it and talked about it. The best thing to do when confronted with these situations is to stay calm; don't freak out. Show them that you are the same person you always were, and at the same time, the more ignorance you can erase (without being harsh), do it. Basically I was on cloud 9 - all my best friends knew, my parents knew and my brother know knew (took it the best out of ANY of my friends). I was happy and confident, as well as exploring who I really was. You all know how nice it would be to discuss hot guys/girls with your opposite sex straight friends, instead of repressing it. Its great. The whole experience of coming out really strengthens a person if its positive. and if its not positive, ask yourself this: why am I not entitled to the happiness my heterosexual counterparts have? You ARE. Just because things aren't going right now, doesn't mean they never will. Believe me

Okay, last paragraph, i promise. In a night of extreme delirium (not really, but when i think back i was like "whyy did i do thatt") i posted my status on facebook as "I'm gay. no one will ever change it, and I wouldn't want them to if i could" Some people thought it was a joke (its SO funny to post I'm gay as heterosexual boys statuses! ) but the majority of the people who actually saw it before i deleted it the following morning have been wonderful to me. In this process however, I have lost one friend. He is probably the most racist and prejudiced person I know under the age of 35. not surprising, huh? But i realized. 20 ish people love me. one doesnt. who the fuck cares, I'm gay! really though. Don't worry. I really hope this helps a lot of you. Other people's stories really helped me. And if you're still reading, feel free to ask anything or just give me a congrats, because we all deserve those once in a while