Well I didn't come out to her per say, but she confronted me and we chatted for a while. She cried a bit and said she was really sad. Broke my heart a bit. But she overall accepted me, so I guess it was good. She says she believes it is genetic because apparently my dad had like three gay uncles, (I didn't know that!) She says she's going to see someone about it, I don't know if that's good or bad. She said I should see someone too, I don't know about that. She also said that I have to tell my dad and sister eventually, I knew that, but I hope she does not pressure me to tell them before I am ready I e-mailed her some sources that Eleanor Rigby from this site gave me. In my chat with her I found that she does not believe what all the gay hating Christians say, so that's good at least. I guess it was an overall successful coming out, so then why do I feel so torn up inside about it? I feel like I am detached from reality, like my life is falling apart. I don't know it feels weird. I just want things to go back to normal.
I'm so happy that your mom reacted the way she did! I think you might just be shocked that you're actually out to people, and that there's so many more people to go..
It probably hurts that she didn't completely accept you (always the ultimate goal is to be accepted and just loved for who you are). I think you may feel that you have disappointed her somehow based on her reaction, but it seems to me like she just needs some time. She is, after all, your mother, and really I think all she wants is for you to be happy in the end. Also, there are more people in your life that don't know and you probably feel nervous about telling them. Your nerves are tearing you up inside, it's totally understandable. Congrats on telling her chica, and good luck to you. (&&&)
i know exactly what you mean. When i told my parents i had this pain in my stomach for days because i regretted telling them and i just wanted to go back to the way things were before. But now, i realize that its sooo much better not to have to hide anything. you just have to get used to them knowing. a secret you kept for how long finally came out, it is gunna be hard to accept at first. keep on going tho, it feels so good once you realize this
Yea thanks a lot guys, Yea it is hard to get used to the fact that she knows. It was a lot less stressful coming out to my two friends. I don't know I am just afraid that things will NEVER be the same between us. I know things will probably get better, but it does not feel that way right now. She is still talking to me and such, but it's like there is a barrier between us, there is this awkwardness. I wish that being gay wasn't such a big deal in society I wish it was like saying, "Oh hey by the way I have brown hair, I've just been dying it for a while now." Thats a weird comparison, but its the best I could come up with. It also hurt when she said I should not come out to my one friend (who is really religious and has a crazy religious family) I understand where she is coming from, but it still hurt.
From what I can gather she is saying that because she wants to protect you from what your friend's family might think of you, which is in my eyes a good sign. But yeah, I see how that can definitely hurt. It'll get better, hun. Your mom will come around, it sounds like she's taking this pretty well anyway and it also sounds like she loves you and cares for you just the same as she did before you came out to her. (*hug*)
