I want to tell my mom that I'm gay but I'm afraid she will react negativly and will act different towards me. She always says bad stuff about gays and since I was a little kid she told me to never grow up gay. I really want to tell her, because I feel that there is something missing between her and me. If she knows it then I don't care who else knows it. But I'm afraid this will destroy her completely. She already fought breast cancer and the last thing she needs is me being gay. I'm very close to my mom and I don't want to destroy our relationship. But I don't want to keep secrets from her either. I really need some help.
You still list your orientation as "Bisexual?". Are you sure that you're gay, and just havent' updated that part of your profile? Or are you still not sure yourself? I know it's a difficult thing to deal with, and it feels like a very lonely life keeping that secret, But if you're not sure, then maybe it isn't the right time to tell your mom anyway...
From what u r saying about ur mom... it sounds as if ur mom and my whole family wud get along very well... I was so scared when i told my parents... i thought for sure they would kick me out of the house... but i knew i had to tell them... so i sat them both down in our living room... and told them that "i have felt like this for a very long time, and i tried to stop it... and convience myself that i wasn't.. but no matter what i did.. i couldn't change who or what i was... and i wanted to tell u sooner... but i didn't want to hurt u... and i feel if i don't tell u we won't be close"... and then i just told them that i was gay... and my mom immediately said she loved me no matter who or what i was... and my dad said nothing... he actually didn't talk to me for awhile... but now he asks about my boyfriend... and if i am bringing anyone home for the holidays this is what i did... and yes.. this is pretty much word for word... i remember writting out what i was going to say 50 million times... i was so scared... but i knew i need to tell them... i hope this was some help
I was so scared when i told my Mum that i was gay, i had to write it down on a piece of paper because my voice gave out on me.
Ok, for starters, it won't destroy her completely. I know this for a fact my 17 year old son came out to me this summer and although it rocked my world, and not in the good sense, I have bounced back BECAUSE I love my son more than life itself, and if this is who he is, well that is who I will love! There is a post about wha parents go through in the support section here. Take a look at some of the letters people have posted here, they will give you an idea how to break the news to your mother. Whatever your mother's reaction you can't live the rest of your life lying to her and the longer you wait the harder it will be and the more upset your mum will be that you have lied and not been able to trust her. The whole situation is very complicated and you must only do so when you feel ready, don't let anyone force your hand but I think you know inside that you are going to have to tell your mum one day. Good luck
It's so hard to be open and honest with people - I know. But I think that it's important that you be open and honest with your mom. She's been through a lot, yes. But your close relationship won't last if you continue to keep this secret from her. It will slowly drive a wedge between you, and she won't want that to happen. It's probably better to prepare something in advance so you know what you're going to say. Then you make sure that you hit all the relevant points.
